What costs does Child maintenance cover?

You know, Jaymdee, I am so glad I stuck it out in the beginning when I split up, I could so easily have gone down this route and been bitter (but so could my exes) and believe me it wasn't all plain sailing, we had our moments.

I sat and cried at times when things were tough and I could so easily done something just to make a point (I know I did occasionally - but when you see it backfire - as it often did with hubby no.2, I saw the affect it was having on our 4 yr old son, and my love for him far outweighed the dislike of my ex).

I didn't want my kids seeing my as a bitter twisted woman who hated the man that was their father, I loved him enough once to have a child with him and he was good enough to chosen to be a father then, why not now, he might not have been fantastic husband material but he is and always will be my sons father.

My son idolises him, he is 11 now and he knows his dads shortcomings, he didn't need me to point them out and make it obvious and hurt his feelings or make him more protective or defensive towards his dad in the process, that would have affected the relationship I have with my son.

It took someone I respected to show me that it was not up to me to try and control or nuture a relationship between my son and his father, thats dads job, I am mom, and I am a damn fine one too. My role is different so I dont feel the need to compete, but I really have to bite my tongue sometimes when dad is gushed about for spending half hour playing darts with him while I have spent half the week running him from club to club, teaching him how to play a new card game and I get the strops because I am the authoritarian that makes him do his homework... but I am also wise enough to know that he will soon be grown up and he will appreciate what I have done from a different angle when he is an adult or when he has his own kids, my rewards will take a bit longer to come but will be worth waiting for...