University Fees

Variation of SM is not for the faint hearted so better to be aware of the facts before the OP goes down this route. This will give the information to make an informed decision.

www.thomasmore.co.uk/ImageLibrary/Capital%20City%20Notes.pdf

Best wishes,
NWTT.

Thank you everyone for your comments and views - they are all appreciated.

Spousal maintenance is high but I accept that it was part of the Consent Order I have with my ex and I agreed to it - even if it perhaps was not the best deal I was not in a position to go to court at that time (nor am I now) to fight - that would have put me and my children under eevn more pressure (it was a long winded divorce and needed to be fiunalised for everyone''s sake in my view. The child maintenance at a level in line with CSA advice was also part of the Consent Order I agreed to and have no issue with it.

As this had reduced in September it was a trigger to move forward with my new partner - we have both had huge fianncial dificulties imposed on us seperately for four years but have managed to just about keep our heads above water and meet our financial commitments.

The agressive alert from ex''s solicitors came a few days after the reduction in the CSA money along with the threat of court.

I suppose I was hurt and shocked at first to be threatened by court as my daughter had chosen to not meet with me after several attempts on my behalf to do so over the past two years and there had been no discussions about her tertiary education, (and mnominally about her secondary education previoulsy). I did wonder if perhaps this was my ex''s doing and not my daughter''s and even perhaps she had no knowledge.

I, even we, my fiance and I, simply do not have have the reources to meet their demands. We decided to move in together because we could just manage it with the reduced CSA payment and were not aware this latest threat was even on the horizon!

As I mentioned earlier I have made my geniune best offer to my daughter by email yesterday - at least that way if she had not be involved she would be aware of her mother''s actions and in the hope she would accept the compromise and not proceed to court as I will have to represent myself as I genuinely have not stashes of money hidden away to fund solicitor''s fees.

Then again does she have anything to lose - she is likely to get legal aid......

Thanks again for your comments they are welcome and appreciated.....

And of course she is my daughter and I miss her greatly!

Pixy

I pay half my salary every month and then have had to fund a new home for myself...it has been very difficult but I know I needed to do it to ensure the FMH was secure for my children.

My salary has not changed over the years at all but made the decision to move in with new partner when CSA reduced as between us we could and not be any worse off. I really not expecting a claim for uni fees as there was no contact from my daughter.
I obviously was not aware of this opportunity for her to do so.

I would let her do what she feels she needs to, if it goes to court, hopefully they will look at the full amount you have been giving and see that you were basically over a barrell when agreeing.

Chin up mate

I have 3 daughters, one who has just finished uni; one in her second year and one who has just started in the 6th form.

Their father has NOTHING to do with them - his choice and is now with another woman who has two grown children, one of which has a child.

He pays CSA for the youngest (only because he has to). The oldest and then the middle began court proceedings re financial assistance from their father, but both children dropped the cases as they decided that their couldn''t face their father in court. Both children were informed that he would be very likely to receive some financial assistance.

These girls are an Absolute credit to me. The oldest worked throughout her final and most taxing year at university and completed the course having £2500 in savings and no overdraft. She left university on a Friday in May and started a full time job (not in her chosen profession)the following Monday.

The middle girl now in her second year at uni cannot find any work, however she has entered her second year with £300 from last year''s loan.

My girls have socialised very little through university, bought second hand books and clothes from Oxfam. They have lived on pasta, cheese and tuna, have wrapped up in jumpers and waterbottles in the winter to save on heating bills.

I have been unable to financially assist except to provide some value tins and a home in the holidays for which each girl has paid me £10 per week.

So, yep it is doable without assistance but my girls seeing their father drive around in a brand new BMW with his girlfriend and her granddaughter, holidays to Dubai and America plastered facebook, whilst they scrimp and scrape to get a decent education has only served to make them despise their father more.

Your girls are a credit to you xx

Thanks they are. I just wish parents would realise that although divorced, for whatever reason, whether or not the kids speak to them or not, they are still the children of the family and that means BOTH parents should want what is best for them and financially at least WANT to help through at least first degree.