Living hell

Hi,my name is Mick,
I have been looking through the postings to see if I can make sense of my own situation, and I am beginning to realize that the position I am in, is similar to many others.
How can a partner go from a normal loving person to a raving lunatic within a couple of months, where only lies and absurdities are screamed at you by way of explanation.
My story is, my wife of 21 years decided, after a trivial row about our boys, (15 and 16) to leave home and live at her mothers. She decamped the following day without telling anyone of her intentions, she wouldn't answer her phone and did not communicate with any of us for more than two weeks, then out of the blue, contacted our youngest son and informed him she wanted a divorce from me and he and other son should stay at her's once a week. She has now been gone five weeks.
During this period I have had no contact with her, she has not contributed financially to the household expenses and has kept the family allowance and will offer no explanation for her behaviour. To say I'm confused,insane or both is huge understatement, I don't know what to think I didn't want a divorce, I just want to make sense of things. Is she having an affair , (Iv'e suspected she has in the past when we were in a similar situation, but just as unexpectedly things got back to normal and I didn't want to rock the boat pursuing answers) has she gone mad, I don't know. I do know she sought advice during the first couple of weeks, when co-incidentally she contacted the children and began the charm offensive.
Any idea's, if I don't know what I'm up against I won't be able to fight it, all suggestions appreciated and many thanks.

What a terrible situation. Five weeks is a long time and you need to know what is happening one way or the other for everyone's emotional well being. Have you discussed it with the boys and what is there view. I am going to stop on that note, because depending on the response I will ahve very different views. Please be as honest as possible in your response. Is she still at her mom's?

Yes, she is still at her mothers but often spends time elsewhere at friends, I have discussed it with the boys and they say "whatever", although I don't think they really understand the full implications, and their behaviour has been more disruptive just lately, especially the youngest.

mick,
I suggest you issue a petition for divorce on basis of unreasonable behaviour and find the least upsetting reasons to support your allegations. This will bring the matter to the forefront which is what you need to do. A petition can always be withdrawn.

Are youa ble to talk to her mother at all?

Mick,

Regarding the child benefit you will need to contact the child benefits office and explain the situation. They will then arrange the child benefit to be paid directly to you after you first fill in the form making the claim for the child benefit. For this you will need their passport and full birth certificate.

My thoughts are with you

Good luck

Cinders xx

I previously had a good relationship with my mother in law, as my wife is living with her I havn't wanted to compromise her I stupidly thought she might contact me and discuss things, she hasn't. Still can't blame her it is her daughter after all.
thanks for bothering.

Mick

my m-i-l turned into a nasty, spiteful, vicious woman, hell-bent on trying to destroy me, thinking that I was the bad guy - her daughter was equally to blame for it all - but, surprise, surprise - she doesn't see it that way!!!

forget about your m-i-l because she won't be for much longer - look after numero uno - YOU

good luck

dd