struggling with life without wife

One other thing..

2 years ago, I had severe depression BUT I did not recognise it. I acted very very bizarely - set up a bank account, got a room and moved into it and spent money I did not have. I told my husband I was leaving him -in a huge long angry rant. None of it made sense to anyone but me. I was so angry and I had to escape.
I moved into this grotty little room, and the next day woke up and realised what I had done and cried - really really cried.
Went back to my husband and begged to come home. He was still very dazed and said yes.

I went to see my doctor and he diagnosed severe depression...... I was prescribed a course of anti depressants which took effect and I was able to cope with the things that were stressing me out better.

Sadly 2 years on the reasons why I wanted out were still there. This time however, I was not depressed and could plan an exit strategy.

OP it really could be that - your wife really could be very very depressed and has regressed into a young free and single person because she perceives that is when she was happy and at the moment her happiness is her focus.
Perhaps your MIL could talk to her and persuade her to go to the doctors....

Sounds good news that you are back in the house with the kids.
Let the mother in law sort your misus out if its post natal depression.Best thing a bloke can do is start looking after yourself.Because if you don't look after yourself you won't be able to look after the kids.Try and put the confusion and emotional side in a box in your head and take the box ou accasionally to have a rummage through it but then put it back as you have to concentrate on the important things like making money to keep a roof over yours and the kids heads and pay the bills and clothe and feed them and parent them and give them emotional support.So that should be taking up enough of your time and mental energy without using useless emotional mental energy on your ex misus.She's an adult she's made her choices pretty selfish ones.So my best advice is feck her and get on with lookin after you and the kids.The one way a bloke hets out of this hole is to earn money because that gives him choices and means that he can provide.
All the best
Pete xx

if you can develop the skill of compartmentalising things it helps

can't say i'm a great example but at least work is work and it does not affect things there anymore

focus on the next week/month ahead any further is going to be difficult

as for the pnd discussion it does look like your MIL will need to broach that, does not seem something you could do as from her perspective you are a reason for her behaviour

good luck