New and need advice

Hi All

I'm new here, no offence - I really don't want to be. Been with hubby for 24 years married 16 of them.
In a nutshell, hubby has fallen head over heals for a bargirl in Thailand. Just found out that he's proposed already. But i'm guessing he did this at xmas, when I left our holiday after finding them!!
We still live together but don't sleep together - well not often anyway.
He wants to start a D-I-Y divorce, cause it's cheaper! He wants this sooner rather than later.
After reading countless articles about divorce i'm totally confused, by the whole thing. This is not something I have asked for nor want - yes I do still love him.
For him to start divorce proceedings, do you have to be separated for a year before you can start???
We have 2 children 18 & 14, our own home and business.
I need to safeguard everything for our children, cause he's to loved up with the Bargirl to think sensible. And her motivation for hubby is MONEY - pure and simple.

Hope you can help
Notathaigirl

Sorry that you find yourself here, it is not a place any of us wished to end up, but we're glad we did end up on Wiki because at least we have somewhere to go to.

As to the divorce, you do not need to be seperated for a year before you start proceedings if you are going to divorce him for unreasonable behaviour or adultery. You can wait and do the 'two years with consent' if you wish.

One of the legal/professional wiki's will be along soon enough to advise you on the ins and outs, but in the meantime, please take care of yourself, and don't be worried about asking us anything.
We will all help if we can.

xxxx

Either you or your husband can start divorce proceedings now, using unreasonable behaviour as the grounds.

This is a simple overview of the divorce procedure which is just dissolving the marriage, and the finances and childcare arrangements, which is the tricky bi:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Step-By-Step-G...de/Introduction.html

I am not sure about the business you and your husband have, but everything else would be sorted according to the needs of your children first and then your and your husband's respective income and outgoings etc. Info here: www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...G-IN-THIS-FORUM.html

You can pop into our chatroom to talk to people in the same situation, for instant support. We are very friendly.

My ex and I have been separated a year. We'd been together 31 years, married for 18.

No rush to get divorced, he wants to wait until mortgage is paid up in 3 years time. I want to stay put for the moment as my younger son is in a local school doing GCSEs and elder one about to go to local college.

He went off to live with someone else and is behaving like a lovesick teenager and having a ball parenting her two small children while ignoring our teenage sons. Pathetic.

I went through hell, but feel much stronger now and more able to cope.

You will too.

Nell

I am going to say something sooooo un PC that it isn't true...

Would you want him back???
I mean, consider what he might have caught!!1


yes I am that horrible but I am saying what a lot are thinking..

You do still love him of course you do. But my god girl , you can so do better...

Hi

Do you think your husband is having a mid life crisis? I am assuming the Thai girl is younger?

You seem a very loving, caring woman. Maybe if you bide your time and just humour him, this relationship will blow over?

Jo x

I would leave him a copy of the little Britain dvd paused right at the part where Ting Tong is moving all her relatives into the saddo middle aged blokes flat.
You must have a job not to really take the p--- outta how sad he really is!!!
Jesus who actually wants to marry a Thai prostitute????
That's just too sad for words!!!
Ditch him and take him for everything.You really desrve all the dough the time you've put in .
all the best
pete xx

Hi

I'd like to thank all the folk who have taken the trouble to reply to my question.

In time to come, I maybe back on again asking some more.

Many thanks
notathaigirl