trying to work it out!

I gave up a long time ago trying to work it all out!

Ex did apologise to the children and is now trying to make amends with them - but not house them ( means he would have to spend his money on them!)

I suppose that is as good as it gets!

Fortunately I do not need him financially nor emotionally and that gets to him even more!

i think our ex partners come up with pathetic reasons to end the realationships is due to the fact they are weak. my ex has expressed some sorrow but this is for the way he dumped me in a nightclub! after 23 years!!!! not sorrow for the end of a marriage and leaving his kids!
i would love to know excately when my ex thought our relationship had changed. he didnt tell me so i didnt have a chance to save it. he ended it in his head before i even sussed what was going on! thought marriage was about been a team and communication! not with my ex!!

i hope one day i will be strong and indifferent about him! my strengh is returning. i still have bad days! ie 2 hours today crying for him-why? when he has hurt us so much! i so want to gain my strengh and i want my love for him to die. but unfortunately we have to go through the motions!

does any one know if the person who dumped us actually go through the emotions like we do??? the ones who walked seem to be able to get on with it a lot quicker!!!

welshdevon - they seem to get over it quicker cos they are busy "doing other things", also they have generally made their mind up some time before they are kind enough to tell us they are leaving so it isn't the same shock to them!

Bad days come but they also end and we do get more good ones as time goes on and it is easier to concentrate and not miss them like in the first few weeks and months.

I don't reallly care what mine thinks, although if he happened to see me looking really happy I wouldn't complain

you are so right! have to stop thinking bout him in that way! he doesnt deserve our time and thoughts! need to concentrate on getting happy and content again for my sake and kids!

He moved on quickly and as you rightly said (again!) they have moved on before they have even told us! and as he doesnt have kids he is free to do what he likes. mind you i would rather have the kids they are my rock! at least i will see them grow up and see all there precious moments.

thank you for advise! the people on this site deserve hapiness and i hope we all find it!

We celebrated my daughter's 18th in July. (She and my husband were very close b4).He sent a card and cheque but nothing on earth would have made me miss it. I wonder how he felt on that day and of course ow wouldn't have had a clue what he was missing, no children. He didn't even know what our plans were as he has no contact with any of us. He was here when the other 2 were 18 so he could compare! We all had a great time, precious moments!
He is no longer needed by this family!

yep welshdevon and throwing muse agree with you about stbx's being ok in their heads - any moment of regret or sadness they probably felt years ago when they started their affairs! Certainly by now mine is well beyond feeling any emotion for us other than a vague sense of responsiblity (VERY occassionally).
People say what goes round comes round and I still feel so angry I can't wait to see him get his just deserts! I really don't think I'd have him back now - so just like you welshdevon dont understand why there are days when I still cry for him - is it for the dream? Certainly was'nt reality. Good on you hurtand sad - sounds like your daughter had a great day,
if you have any guts to spare send them my way! lol!

Decided I'm not going to be hurt and sad anymore!
My recovery will be absolute when they break up!Hopefully she will dump him or beter still cheat on him.