What do you have to do to get it right?

Hi Lilibet,

thx for that, i will get on, can't see it yet, but it will have to happen, it's just that i know wots round the corner, been there and done it all before, atleast my stbx is being amicable at the moment, which makes things easier, but it never lasts.

You will heal..but it will take time, as I said, be kind to yourself, take small steps, you sound like a smashing fella, take care x

There is no answer to that it'sjust luck in the end! I have gone over and over my relationship and it was very good, no-one could have seen it coming. My husband suddenly changed into another person. When I question myself my kids reassure me about the happy family we had, I didn't imagine it.
After trying to find out what was wrong I didn't even get the respect of honesty after 19 years and had to discover his affair.Two years ago now, I have accomplished a lot and worked hard but the pain and sadness persists. The bad days are fewer but I feel I have lost my best friend and my future.I cannot believe how easy it was to turn his back on everything that meant so much to him.
You just have to keep going, move towards acceptance and realise that the pain doesn't go away, it lessens and you learn to live with it.
The sad legacy is that me and my children will never trust again.
Good luck

hurtandsad, I feel the same way. Like, 'who are you and what have you done with my husband??' It beggers belief, as if they were taken over by an alien species! But as we've all seen on this forum, this behaviour appears to be quite common, and for that reason I feel doubly wary as far as trusting anyone again. I just can't be bothered.

Hi I am new to this after 16years of marriage my wife wants a divorce we have two kids 11 and 14 (oldest is autistic) . I never went to the pub etc etc put her and kids first.She took her rudundancy 8 years ago and bought her self a new car ( i don,t drive money was short in the begining and it was always put off as i thought it was better to put the money into the family).o ut of the blue she wants a divorce unreasonable behavior because i was either working ovetime( in my last job i could get £400 for a saturday sadly i was made redunant new job 50% less)if i wasn,t working i was working on the house but at 42 i have a morgage of £3k on a house worth £240k .I am in the middle of sorting out the 4th bedroom ensuite.I saw our life would get easier now as i would finish the house we have some money in the house and we could start doing more things together . I cry all the time at the fact i won,t be there on a morning evening with my kids my son being disabled doesn,t like change it is difficult to get him to leave the house .I begged my wife on my knees to let me sllep in the downstairs room ensuite as it will have a sink shower toilet in and is right nextdoor to the front door so i could get washed and dressed and lleave for work on a morning ( in cidently she has just started working partime were i work in a school going full time september)she is getting legal aid i will have to pay I am going to see a place today she has told me to get it or she will force me out it is a repossesion so its in bad condition i am asset rich but cash poor.I don,t want her to sell the house as it would upset our kids and son in particular .She won,t even let me do little things when i have gone since talking to a solicitor she has got meaner and meaner and keeps moving the goal post

What has shocked me, is reading "my story" over and over again since joining Wiki. I really thought no one else could possibly of been through what I have. Maybe alien abduction does really exist
Baboon, big hugs to you, I have two children on the autistic spectrum, and understand how change affects them so very badly x

Just so you know she can't force you out of the house until there is agreement

Janey