dont know what to do

i have been seperated around 6 weeks after 11 years together and im still where i was that very first day he walked out im in my forties and didnt think for one second i would end up in this position im crying all day my whole waking moments are consumed with where he is who he is with what he's doing i just cant see any way forward my whole world has been torn upside down my family was my world world therefore i have no friends i can turn im distraught i hate being alone all the time it just makes things 100 times harder and my life is a complete utter mess some days i dont see the point of getting up and if it wasnt for the children i dred to think where i would be

thanks for listening

Hi i am 15 weeks down the line. I am better than i was but it takes a long time to try and live some kind of life. i like you would go to pieces without ther kids. I am 49 and have been married for 19 years so like you my world has been turned on its head. he left me for someone else, and that is especially hard. i still wonder evey day what he is doing, where he is etc. This i keep telling myself is only natural after being together so long. my problem is i still love him (i think) saying that i have petitioned for divorce as there is no going back for me and his attitude to me and the kids since he left has been heartbreaking, its like we never existed. be strong for your kids,and kind to yourself. Do you work, i have found that to be my saviour. good luck and pm me if you wish.

hello whitepetal - it is very early days so don't be hard on yourself, you do just have to take it a day at a time. Everyone here knows how you feel - you are not alone which I hope helps to know.

It is good to have children becuase it keeps your routine going and gets you out and about. Talk to people, let them know what is happening. You will be amazed at the support you get - it can feel such a hard thing to do, to admit to what's going on, but once you do you will feel a lot better.

I am a year down the line - it does get better, honest. But it's slow and sadly, even though I am far happier now than I have been in a long time, I still have moments where I fall apart and have a good cry but each time it takes less time and less effort to pick myself up again.

If you are really struggling, it may be worth a visit to your GP to consider anti-depressants and/or counselling. If you have young children, you may find your health visitor useful (mine has been amazing - but I was pregnant when my stbx left so she has kept an eye on me!). Lot's of support here - have a good look around, you will soon see that you are not alone and that there is help out there. Take care xxx

thank you for the support and kind words it really helps knowing im not going trhough this alone im glad i found this site.

ps no i dont work

Hi whitepetal,

Sorry that you are hear. However, I think that you will find this place a great source of comfort.

Hang on in there!

I am just 8 weeks from discovering my husband's affair, and we've now been separated for exactly two weeks - me in my own teeny tiny mostly empty of furniture flat and him with his girlfriend.

We didn't have children together, mine are grown and live in another country, so that's made life a little more difficult. But, I am thankful for my job because I find the weekends to be the pits, even with all the 'excitement' of moving.

I agree with mumtoboys - I have my support network of female friends, but it was very liberating to tell the people I work with. I knew they were a good bunch, but they have been SO supportive, it's been wonderful.

I can talk like that today because it has been mostly a good day - who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I'm glad you found this place - I know I'm glad I found it, because the support here, too, is incredibly positive. Even on days when I don't have anything to say, it's good to come here and read and realise I'm not alone - you aren't either! x

Hi Whitepetal,
Hope your day went ok, what have you been up to? Will PM you, but come online and chat soon....it will be nice to catch up with you xx

Debs x