How do you all cope with the really bad days?

Hi - thanks to all who messaged me yesterday - helps to know I'm not completely alone. Have lots of friends and family who care but don't think they really understand how panic stricken you feel all the time. Today is a bad day - went to work this morning and felt okay and as soon as I came home a black cloud descended again and just want to go to bed and sleep so I can forget for just a few hours.

How do others cope when this mood strikes?

linda,
Initially succumb - you feel terrible - give in a little and be nice to yourself.

But you DO have to face life, so when you feel one coming on, try to occupy yourself. Nothing too strenuous. Maybe clear out a drawer, go for a walk or a swim. Retail therapy, if budget permits (steady on though!)

It is really hard, and you feel like nothing is ever going to get better. But it will. If you know to expect these mood swings and that they are perfectly normal, it makes it a little easier to deal with them. TIme is the great healer. Eventually the good days outnumber the bad, and you start to feel less troubled by the bad ones when they happen.

It took me a few months to feel I was back in control of my emotions and 18 months on, still have the odd wobble. But that is all it is - a wobble.

Hang on in there - we know just how you are feeling,

Mike

Hi Linda, do you have any friends who have been through divorce? a friend advised nice hot baths, bubble bath, a bit of a pamper. She also was a year to the day ahead of me, so I could see the change in her, and how it had got easier, although she was still having bad days occasionally.
As Mike said - be nice to yourself, also - come on wiki, you'll find lots of support
dg

Hi DG

I have one friend who has been through it but financially was in a much better position than me so knew she would be okay in that respect whereas I don't. Husband working in China until the end of the year and is not only seeing another woman but spending money like water. It is the feeling of being in limbo which I cannot bear. I do have the odd bath but even that upsets me because we used to sit and talk about our days when one of us was having a bath! Sound pathetic don't I?!

Thank u

Linda

Oh no your not pathetic your grieving. We've all been there.
Just the thought of a sunny day filled me with horror. But as Mike said it gets better. My saving grace was Wiki. I used to dread coming home to an empty house so i would log on and only stop for the odd bowl of porridge. But it's getting better I'm building a new life and meeting new people who didn't know me Bd.
Have just had a visit from x who is again threatening to stop paying the mortgage. 6 months ago I would have been a sobbing wreck today I just think To.....er. It does help!!
Next week will be better than last, next month will be better than last. The bad days are awful accept that but savour the good ones and you will eventually find there are more good than bad.
Look after yourself X

Linda,

NO you do NOT sound pathetic.

Upset, frustrated, angry, tearful, let down, yes.

Your life has turned upside down and you have to wait till the end of the year to do anything about it all. How crap is that? pretty bad .

I understand the limbo thing. Me and my stbx are equal business partners in a hotel business. She told me it was over in Jan 2007. SHe moved out in Oct 2007. But we still have to work closely with each other nearly every day of the week. No closure, no 'moving on'. It is not good. Groundhog day.

If your ex is spending like fury, could I suggest that you start amassing a nestegg if you can from available funds? I'm not suggesting hiding it for one moment, but ring-fencing it, so he can't blow the lot and leave nothing but debt .

Best of luck Linda. You are a strong woman in a very difficult position. You might not feel that way at the moment, but believe me, deep down there is a superhero waiting to get out and sort it all out:woohoo: . And she will get her day.

Look after YOU for now. Take care

Mike

Dear Mike

Thank you for your kind words of support. I have put some money to one side which was in a joint account and have put it into my name. I went to see a solicitor who says I am perfectly entitled to do this as the account was for either of us to sign.

The hardest part is the being in limbo and feeling so rejected. I am doing my best to be strong for my two boys who are struggling also. Eldest in the middle of his GCSEs. Joining this site could be the saving of me - I never knew there were so many people going through it and who take the trouble to care about others.

Thank you


Linda