I seem to have divorced my 18 year old daughter as

I can only repeat what others have said - just keep in touch and she will come around.

A postcard now and then with a friendly message, you don't have to go overboard with gifts (which she may see as you trying to buy her affections).

Teenagers often reject one or both parents, whether or not they are divorced.

My 16-year-old son is being very offhand with me at the moment and only speaks to me to ask for money.

Arnie,

You obviously didn't read my post properly yet again. I didn't actually say I stayed just for my daughter although that was an important factor.

Spouting off: I thought that was what forums were for, expressing your opinion, just because you don't agree doesnt make it any less valid.

Yes so please respect mine.

The point is it has nothing to do with the children and far too many aggrieved parties justify their actions on this very argument line.

I am not the one trying to justify my actions.

Lady in Blue and Bunty

Couldn't agree with you more. You reap what you sow. Bitter - yes very. Use my kids against him - never. My 13 year old son wants to see his father and I allow him to do so. My 19 year old however can see the hurt and pain he has caused and has very little time for him at the moment. Do I get a little peverted pleasure from this - yes I do but only because it causes my stbx a little of the pain that I am suffering but do I still tell my 19 year old to ring his dad - yes I do. I want what is best for my boys and I think that is for their dad to still be in their lives - I do it for them not for him. He made his bed ............... Kx

Lady in Blue wrote:

I am not the one trying to justify my actions.

Nor am I, but merely trying to help people who are blinded by their own personal suffering to exclusion of their children's best interest

It will take time, but do persevere. I tend to agree with Amanda in thinking that your daughter may find herself open to different perspectives once she settles into university and meets new people. In my story, my own son has been very accepting, he knew we weren't happy and he has been really supportive, whereas my daughter, who didn't live with us, sided absolutely with her father. It caused a huge rift between us, which is slowly healing, and she now sees things a bit differently.

Regardless of who left whom, or how or why the marriage no longer worked, our children still have two parents and still need our love, and all credit to you for not just quietly walking away. There were times when I just had to, and to let her find her way back to me. We are still working on it -- not talking about the breakdown is one of our rules now. She is now more concerned about how I will manage without her father's support. Nothing is ever black and white, and I'd encourage you not to give up.

Going back to some of the comments, and adding my two pennyworth, if I have learned anything in this whole messy experience it's that none of us here can judge another when it comes to marriage breakdown. We are all here because on some level the marriage hasn't worked, and surely this site is as much about picking up the pieces as about the legalities. If we are here at all it's because we need help or because we care, and I have found so much support here.

A big thankyou to all the wiki people, for being there.
xx

Hey Bob the Builder if you want fair and balanced advice on wiki don't admit you had an affair.....guaranteed to polarise opinion and give you information that you had already deduced for yourself.

There is no advice re your daughter, and once the years are stolen they are gone forever. The thing that gives me strength is that soon she will be an adult and able to discern the truth for herself and her genetic makeup overrides the petty mindset that I eluded to earlier.
In the meantime I focus on the BarSt@rds that exploited a difficult situation for financial gain whilst masquerading as professionals.

Arnie, all I can say to you is... shudupayaface... these "professionals" are there to get fair decisions... and granted (hate to admit it) some of them go by the book, but the law as is stated and go overboard... BUT... as to this situation, it has nothing to do with solicitors, or divorce, it has to do with how a father is upset about how his daughter might feel about him, dont turn this into something else, no matter what your gripe is. Here endeth the lesson lol.