How do you stop feeling hurt, angry and betrayed?

Hi Pete
I like the fighting talk. I am touched that a bloke actually writes back to offer practical and wise advice. i may have no choice but to move back because why should I end up on the streets when I have a home. it is him who wanted out of the marriage so if he can't stand living with me then he should move out.

I am not caving in. I intitated divorce proceedings against him on grounds of unreasonable behaviour and sadly the solicitor assured me there was more than enough grounds.

Thanks anyway and you take care too. What's your story by the way, if you don't mind sharing it with me. Maybe how you got over it will help me now.

love Clear Cloud

myone had two years of no sex,treating me with utter contempt and telling me how it was all my fault.Announced it wanted a divorce one month after i had to close family business to cash out at optimum time coz she thought I was all washed up.
Then found out two months after moving out that she'd been having an affair.She never admitted it nor apologised for it.Hung onto the kids like superglue coz kids = better cut of the money.Moved another bloke in to the marital home two months after me leaving,which she denied also to anyone legal as that would have effected her payday.
I wasleft with 8 black bin bags and told she couldn't care less if i lived in a DUSTBIN!
Settled for £92500 outta £380000 equity in the house I'd bought kept me pension £130k and abou £50k in savings so sought of 50/50 but basically gave it enuff money to choke a horse.
Don't get to see my kids grow up but do get to see them a 1/3 rd of the year!
Went out feeling depressed earnt £250k in two years not in my name btw to get myself back on my feet financially!
No one helps you just have to not let it break you and use your anger and hurt in a positive way to empower yourself not to let them leave you living in a dutbin!
All the best
Pete xx

Wow that is some story and your ex does not sound a very nice person at all. You are far better off without her. How old are your kids and how are they doing?

Luckily I have a close relationship with my daughter and it has cheered me up that she called me tonight and said that she would like to live with me next year when she does A levels if I can get a place in Cambridge. It has motivated me to get really serious about jobhunting and perhaps save some money if possible because I would love to live with my daughter again. It was my main motivation in having chemo last year and stay alive because she needed a mother and I needed her.

Her only reservation is that if I move back home her dad and I would row all the time. But I tried to explain that I am entitled to live there and if we can't get on without upsetting our daughter then he should move out since he was the one wanting out of the marriage. He can't have it all his way.

btw how did you make 250k in two years?

Clear Cloud

Hi CC, would definately move back home, let him move out, then no risk of arguments around your daughter.
You have the rest of your life ahead of you, its a bit scary starting out again, but at the same time exciting.
Good luck with the job hunting.

Daisygreen x

Hi daisygreen
Cheers. Good news. I was feeling rather down yesterday, no money, no job yet, having to go to the job centre for an interview and talk about how they can help me get back into work and because of my depression and cancer experience there were words banded about like disability and incapacity which didn't sound like me at all. And I was afraid of being kicked out by my friend and I rang up the private lets and they said a one bed flat would cost at least £450 a month which is out of the question for me with £60.50 to live on a week.

But when I got home after spending the afternoon in the library my friend told me there had been a call for me from a hotel I had dropped a CV and applicat6ion at and so |i rang back and on Thursday I am having a trial run as a waitress serving breakfast. Isn't that cool? I am so excited. It shouldn't be a problem getting the job. it is perfect, the hotel is just across the road, around 25 hrs which is great because I want to ease my way back into work and although only minimum wage I will feel better and be more independent, being able to pay my way. The pyschiatrist at The Royal Marsden Hospital, the world famous cancer hospital in London actually recommended I should get a part time job, keep me busy, less brooding and less time to get depressed. So wish me luck.

take care
Clear Cloud

Good news clear, I'm made up for you. Thanks for letting us know

Fantastic news, Clear Cloud - wishing you lots of luck

Ruby