How do you stop feeling hurt, angry and betrayed?

Hi CC

So sorry, I meant to say how sorry I am to hear about your cancer. You must be going through hell.
I had a lump in the breast once, it was ok, but 2 months ago I went for mammogram and had to be called back, as they had 'found something'. So I do understand the hell you are going through. It was all ok. But my friend has breast cancer now and it is heart wrenching.
If you get through this, then you WILL get through anything.
We are here at wiki to help you. Share your anxieties with us. He is obviously a weak man, and some are,just not able to cope with this kind of illness.

And.... when you do come through all of this you will be so strong, and you will be able to take control of your life and decide what YOU want to do.

Bless you, have you friends that you can turn to. You have friends here. Let us share the burden with you.

my thoughts are with you. Keep us posted with your treatment and your thoughts.

lots of love
zara

Hi CC, i'm so sorry for all you've been through with the cancer and for the way your hubby has treated you, you must feel so angry, sad & betrayed right now. Please dont ever think that the other woman is better than you, she went off with a married man & that makes her an adulteress, a scorned woman! Also try to realise that if he cheated on you then he will one day cheat on her!!
It WILL get better with time, you will grow stronger as the months go by & your love for him will dwindle away until theres little left. You will wonder what the hell you saw in him & why you stayed with him so long!
He wasn't right for you, he still isn't. Have you tried counselling to work out your feelings & why you're apprehensive in moving on?
We are all here for you, we want to help you through this bad time.
You are doing great, just keep going forward, baby steps, & trust that it WILL get better.
Cindy

hi so sorry to hear about ur experience i have been married nearly two years and my husband left unexpected and im feeling all the same emotions and more. even considered suicide but i have this hope that one day he will realize what he done2 me and come back and apologize- thats the reason im living to see that day-you may think im bonkers.but never give up on life and have faith in yourself even a tiny bit will get you through.we are given life and dont realize how preciouse it really is until something happens to wake us up so live your life each day as its ur last because some people dont even get the right to live and theres people in worse positions so dont worry and wiki is brill as iv recently discovered so u will b fine x

hi zara,
i don't have breast cancer now, I finished all the treatment last September but it was a recurrence after nine years on the same left side even though I had a radical mastectomy and thought it couldn't come back but apparently there is always skin left for the cancer to come back too. Huge shock of course when I thought I was 'cured' so no peace of mind now.

May soon end up homeless as the friend I am staying with has made it clear he wants me out as I am only living on Income Support and unable to pay my way. May have to move back to marital home and live with cold husband who seems to hate my guts although he was the one who wanted out and I am the hard done by party. it will drive me mental, like house arrest without a car in the middle of nowhere and no job. I have been looking desperately for a job here where I can walk to the city centre in a few minutes and been to the housing dept but they say because my name is on the deeds of the house, I am not really homeless and should just go back. Despite the fact that there has been domestic violence and I have struggled with depression on and off most of my adult life and is now off sick but not desperate enough, apparently.

There you go, life sucks. At the end of the day we can't rely on anyone but otherselves, not even someone you have known and loved for 18 years, they can just turn round and not want to know.

A depressed Clear Cloud

thanks Cindy for your kind and caring words, at a time like this I don't think you can have enough support or mates around. My husband didn't actually leave me for another woman, it happened after we had separated but it still hurts that he rejected me and is now madly in love with a virtual stranger and in Bulgaria of all places and even willing to learn the language and uproot himself eventually and live there.

More pressing are practical matters like finding a job and somewhere to live. Staying at a friend's but he is getting fed up and I don't blame him as I am only living off Income Support and can't pay my way and I need my own space to find myself again and for independence. And it will make it easier for my daughter to come and stay.

May end up moving back to marital home which I really don't want; it'd be like World War III and not at all good for our daughter in the last year of her GCSEs. All my assets are tied with the house and can't sell until she is 18 if hubby doesn't agree. He is staying there in his own home and benefiting from Child Tax Benefit since our daughter is staying with him for stability and to remain the same school and be close to her mates.

it is tough all round. Sometimes I feel it is all too much and can't see a way through.

Clear Cloud

thanks for the encouragement and support, I see you are new to this forum too. Yes I survived cancer twice so I am meant to live and I want to see my 15 year old daughter grow up and go to university and make her way in life.

Life is tough at the moment, I need to find a place to live and a job so I can pay for it but nothing seems easy or straightforward and I feel overwhelmed and quite afraid of the future. Having been married for 16 years it feels scary to be on your own with only yourself to rely on. You don't want to burden your friends and my parents are elderly and frail and my only sister is not terribly supportive, so there you go.

Please keep in touch, I would appreciate it and I hope we can be of mutual support to each other.
love
Clear Cloud

"There you go, life sucks. At the end of the day we can't rely on anyone but otherselves!"

You have answered your own question.
You are going to feel hurt,angry and betrayed.
But don't let them beat you!

Get any job even Mc Donalds!Any thing then see about tax credits your back in the system.
Move back home and tell him straight I've got as much right to be here as you,and by the way if you so much as look at me the wrong way i'll be screaming abuse to the old bill and you'll be outta here.Coz they always believe the woman!
C'mon gal gotta fight not cave in give him some!
All this I'm so depressed lark don't get you anywhere because noone helps you especially not financially.
All the best
Pete xx

Moderators Note: Post edited due to obscene language