I'm lost

hi Fleur, thankyou for your encouragement, it really is genuinly helpful and needed. take care, debs

hi I just want to say I know exactly what you mean and you have actually helped me realise I am not alone and maybe we can support each other through these initial dark day. Virtual hug and support sent, lets show them that we are not doormats.

hi spaniel,yes of course we can support each other.It seems like there is no hope now but there is always the dream of hope. That keeps me going. We are worth more and we will find better. keep your pecker up, we can chat when online together. read the replys i've received they are so encouraging, take care, lots of hugs, debs

flowerslibrary wrote:

My husband left for another woman. she is the 17th woman in our 17 year marriage. this time he wants a divorce which is in the process. I feel intensley jealous of her and cannot accept it is over.I forgave him after each affair and took him back unconditionly. Does anyone have advice on how to cope. I have sat and read books on coping and coming to terms with it, but it still haunts me. Why cant i just forget him and her and move on. Deep down I still hope he will come back.

What a situation!!

I am intrigued though. What is it that you give him that makes him dump 16 other women to fall back into your arms? (erm maybe I shouldn't have asked that?)

alive in the water

hi, he came back for several reasons, they dumped him, he felt sorry for me,he wanted to make the marriage work and they weren't what he expected. what do you think. oh and say what you think! lol

Hi Flowers

Alive is on to something there I think - it looks like both you and your husband are caught in a terrible pattern of breaking up and getting back together. Both he and you get something out of it - if you want to get yourself out of this cycle you will need to figure out what it is you get out of it and then decide if its really worth it? On the profile you paint I would say he'll be back and probably just as you are ready to move on (possibly BECAUSE you are ready to move on) so make sure you know what you want next time. Good luck with this one it will be quite a journey.

RasherX

Hi flowers

You deserve better.

It sounds a co-dependant relationship, did he think so little of you, obviously!

you need to break free - if he has done this with an average rate of one per year, that you know of!!

You need to find some professional to talk to (as someone said that your self esteem is so poor to allow this)

the pain you must have endured over the years must be huge, so the pain you are in - is difficult but it is an honest one.

You must have suffered so much - you probably knew all the signs - and yet said nothing. That would destroy anyone.

Do not think or torture yourself anymore - as I said you deserve better.

as my dad said to me about my situation - he can buy a new doormat in any B and Q - you dont need to be his emotional whipping post anymore.

Go to relate - they will see you alone and help you find a way through this for YOU

take good care (and better care) you have the chance to become you again - free from lies deceipt and hurt. that is surely better than what you had before

take care
Jolly
xx