Womanising ex with no conscience

Hi Marsa.
Please don't feellike that , there is nothing wrong with you, My ex criticising me morning till night even though I treat him well and may be because I was scared of him. They make us think that we are doing wrong when they knew they are up to something and put their guilty consience on us , and me as stupid as I am until know I can't be in a group of people , thinking of Ex telling me I'm stupid. they don't have any respect for themself , They just need to flush themself. be strong . I know it's not easy but we have to support each other and help each other in talking ,and getting advice , My ex also bring his secretary home by the way they were behaving ,I knew straight away they were up to something . I decided to give them a hard time at work by phoning and checking and my ex found another one left his secretary . People like that can't keep their trousers on . try and get on with what infront of you ,your children before the time pass and your children will leave home then you think you spent your time for nothing thinking about the man you marry. Sorry I was a very nice person before but now I know I won't let nobody bully me .Take care.

Marsa, Herasdaughter

Reading your posts - very good and full of humour!

I wish I could blame myself for my exs' behaviour, but i can't. I wish I could say that I was fat and ugly, but I wasn't - am now though!

My ex informed me a couple of years ago after 20 odd years of marriage that he needed to tell me about all the women he had either just shagged once or had affairs with. Very kind of him to tell me. He said they all happened more than 10 years prior to him telling me, some before marriage, some after. So, was all in the past!

I was gutted. Not that he had cheated, but that if I had known he was at it when we were bf/gf or engaged, I would never have married him and wasted so many years with him!

I agree, why oh why, how on earth could he stand at the alter knowing full well he had cheated prior to the wedding day. I asked him and he said he assumed his cheating days were over. Right, okay then!

Anyway, he said he did not cheat for a few weeks before our wedding and a few weeks after. Wasn't I the lucky one!

Anyway, naturally got a divorce.

As for taking the blame, I caught an STI when my first daughter was Newborn. He smashed every window in the house and said it was not him it was me! Clearly it was him and he said it was a one off and lots of men cheat when their partners are pregnant.

Oh, my oh my, how gullible i was.

What I have learnt is that none of this is any of our fault - it is the men that have issue problems with inadequacy and often shag around cos they need constant reassurance that they are attractive to other women.


My ex was a police officer, ugly as sin, but women seem to like shagging police officers - I know I was one of them! Only I went one step further and married one!

Marry in haste, repent in leisure - I sure did - horrid man. Anyway, must shoot, I put so much weight on whilst married to him through comfort eating that now have lost and continuing to lose to become a MILF, ha - in my dreams!

JoannaA wrote:

What I have learnt is that none of this is any of our fault - it is the men that have issue problems with inadequacy and often shag around cos they need constant reassurance that they are attractive to other women.

That last statement is so sexist. Its not just men. Women do this as well. I could mirror yr statement about women. But I wont. This is a people problem. But I understand yr resentment. There was a time when I wouldnt even condesend to even speak to a women. Now look at me. C

I'm with you Marshy, it's a fundemental flaw in someone's personality. In my case my W was fine for 22 years, then lost the plot.

I know that some men are just unable to be faithful and that there are women like that too, but the media finger points more directly at the men.

Boy do we get bad press or what!?!.

We could always start up the Marshy & Lsot1 campaign for justice towards sexist reporting.

Lsot1 wrote:

I'm with you Marshy, it's a fundemental flaw in someone's personality. In my case my W was fine for 22 years, then lost the plot.

I know that some men are just unable to be faithful and that there are women like that too, but the media finger points more directly at the men.

Boy do we get bad press or what!?!.

We could always start up the Marshy & Lsot1 campaign for justice towards sexist reporting.

Yea good plan lsot. I do my best when I see anti men stuff. But as you say we get a bad press. I am fairly certain that its a 50/50 thing. But the statistics show otherwise. So I am not sure if its a lack of reporting by men or women are more vocal at speaking out at injustice by men.

But you do know that leapords dont change there spots. Core values are responsible for things like loyalty. And being faithful is a subset of loyalty. So in all likelyhood what you married 22 years ago didnt change at all. She was always like this. But hid her disloyal tendancies. Not sure about yours but my ex was a serial cheat from the start (1994). Its something I have learned to accept. C

I do agree with Marshy and Lsot, that its not just men who cheat. I suppose the general reputation of men preceeds them and i am guilty of a fair amount of male bashing - especially when all this started for me.

But being on Wiki and other support group I have realised how many good men are there who have been hard done by their wives and hurt they are especially when kids are used in the divorce as bargaining chips against them.

Maybe that will help restore faith in the male species??? hmmmm who knows... one could always hope though

My advice to you is to hold your head up high by refusing all his offers of maintenance. This is what my step-grandmother did after she divorced her first husband for adultery and consequently, her ex-husband had nothing to manipulate her with. Many women deny themselves the chance to hold their heads up high by impersonating the Vicky Pollard lifestyle and raking in large amounts of child support. Take the honourable step of only receiving money that you have earned.