wife wants to leave me

Monstar-

Please dont add to your troubles by taking on responsibility for your mother's state of mind as well !
It is unlikely that anything about your marriage is the reason for her mental difficulties, and, frankly, you have done nothing wrong and deserve support from your family, not just more stuff to feel bad about.

If she cant do that , it is no reason for YOU to feel bad. Thats what I call HER being selfish. Concentrate on making yourself and your children the priority, and dont take on anyone elses emotional baggage.

its ok she will do anything for me, its me that wants to be protective!

dissapointed dad wrote:
Go to your GP, tell him all and he'll probably give you some medication to help you sleep (which I found the hardest) also he'll probably sign you off with stress (I got 2 weeks), so you won't have to use your leave which shall be useful later on to spend time with the children..

dd

I think that' where i'm up to yeah. had a total of a few hours disturbed sleep since sunday. good advice to make it official too so i dont get into trouble @work

dissapointed dad wrote:

Go to your GP, tell him all and he'll probably give you some medication to help you sleep (which I found the hardest) also he'll probably sign you off with stress (I got 2 weeks), so you won't have to use your leave which shall be useful later on to spend time with the children..

Now there's a bit of advice I could have done with four years ago. Sleep will be an issue. I wish it was something I'd medicated for back then.

Sorry to hear of your distress, Monstar.

You have been given some very good and sound advice so hope it will help.

Just wanted to say I do have a male friend who is a bit mental and was drinking too much. A few months ago, his mother, a widow, was very ill with physical problems which were making her depressed and she was extremely lonely. Well he moved in with her and they have helped each other so much. She is happy.....he is acting normal(ish!) and has cut down on his drinking. Although both were reluctant with the idea at first, I think it is the best thing that ever happebned to either of them.

The future may not be quite as bleak as it now may look. Helping you may give your mother a new lease of life. Worries about seeing her grandchildren regularly may be bothering her. Hope you manage to get everything out in the open soon and maybe the situation will improve a little when that happens.

All the best, Fade x

the other positive for me was that I lost 2 stone in weight, which going to the gym would never have shifted - so now I'm svelte and feel good physically (I had to chuck out all my clothes went from 38" to 34" waist)

concentrate on yourself and your children

dd

I Have seen plenty of very serious health-related disaster in my family this last year to last a lifetime and it has affected all of us especially my wife who works part time and spends a lot of time with her+my parents. i definately need to seek some professional help as i want to stay afloat for my kids.