Hi, I am new . xxx

janine

yes, he is using you. you are a comfort blanket to him, a smokescreen, his mother. he is naughty, you tell him off and then off he goes again. he has no respect for you whatsoever.

do what i said - then he will think again! x

but do 2 wrongs make a right?

dd

no DD of course not.

but this man has treated this lady with such utter disrespect that he has to know how it feels.

it is not a one off incident, he has left many times. it is abuse for which there is no excuse

completely agree

dd

Hi ya,

Sounds like the love in your marriage is just one sided. If he truely loves you as much as you love him - would he treat you like this? Answer is NO way - so why have him back? You live once in this lifetime and everyone deserve to be loved properly.

Its hard - but dont have him back.

Rainy

he certainly does not love you and I would go as far as to say that maybe he hates you.

one of my friends told me that she believed my ex hated me because she said who would hurt someone they loved over and over again. at first I was confused, but now I understand her totally.

you are a doormat to your stbx and that is how he is treating you every time you allow him to wipe his feet on your doormat as he enters your lovely, safe, comfortable house where he can get respite before he goes looking for what he wants.

my ex never left me for another woman, but there would certainly have come a day when he would have done - I am sure about that.

if you do not get shut of this man now, one day he will meet someone who means so much to him that he will not want to contact you and get back with you. how will you feel then?

I had a friend that was going through a shit relatinship that ended because he left her for another woman. her only gripe is that he left her first!

Trouble is there are two ways of looking at it...

On the one hand, he will have had the taste of freedom, the excitment of the chase and the affair, together with the fact that he has a nice comfy house to return to if 'he feels like it'. It is going to be hard for him to give this up, or even WANT to give this up.

And on the other, the wife, although she feels she wants him back, will constantly be checking his pockets, phone, email etc.
Questioning where has has been if he is a minute late. Wondering what he is thinking, is he thinking of the OW.

Total recipe for disaster...... and of course, this works exactly the same way husband/wife, wife/husband. Does not matter, once the trust has gone, there is very little left to build on.

zara