Hi, I am new . xxx

Hi Everyone,

I am new to this site on a recommendation from a friend from another forum.

I am separated from my husband of nearly 25 years as he has been having an affair with a 3-times divorced Life Coach for 4 years, following his redundancy!

I took him back 6 times as we have been been together for 27 years altogether and hate the thought of divorce, but he has been living with HER again since last October and the Decree Nisi was granted in January.

The finances are being sorted out at the moment and my house is on the market , but B wants to come back AGAIN!

I need to stay strong. Your comments would be very welcome please.

With thanks,

Janine xxx

Hi,

Welcome to the site:)

I dont think you should take him back, the history you have with him proves that he cannot be trusted. Cut your losses finally and move on. It tough I know, but rather hurt now than for the rest of your . I dont belive in divorce at all, but sometimes it the only way.

Good luck and keep posting

Hi Janine
Welcome to wiki

It seems to me hun that you have given him enough chances. Saying that what do you want to do?? Deep down in your heart??

Could you trust him again?

If you do want him back you could try councilling together or separatley but he has to give up the other woman! I'm not saying move him back in straight away that wouldn't work but he needs to be away from her.

If you don't want him back then you have to be strong, you must have been through hell so well done you for coming so far. Give yourself a pat on the back and if your feeling weak think of all the pain he has caused you and how you would feel having to go through all that again. Also if the doubt creeps in call into chat, there will people in there who will listen and give you strength.

Take care and keep posting.

Dawn x

Perhaps he is picking up now on why his new gf has been divorced three times!!!!

It could be that he has realised that the grass is indeed not greener on the other side. In her job 'life coach' she will meet many vulnerable people that will look to her as a 'shoulder to cry on' or someone that can solve problems and has a pragmatic view on life!!!?? and is therefore 'attractive'?

If he has done this to you as many times as you have stated, I would be surprised if your relationship would ever recover.

Stay strong. He has made his bed let him lay in it.

Start to make plans for yourself, you are worth more than being just a 'safe house' for him every time his affairs fail.

zara

stay strong Janine you can get through this and cast him off.
You can become whoever you want to be .
We are here for you
GF x

Thank you very much everyone for your comments and help. I am sure you are all right.

I need more help please. As my husband still wants to come back again, I suggested that he leaves HER and rents a flat for 6 months near me, 'dates' me again to see if he is able to build my trust again. And the trust of my children, although they are honestly not bothered.

Is this a sensible suggestion - or stupid?!

Wth thanks,

Janine xxx

Sounds very sensible to me, perhaps coupled with some counselling?

Amanda