I've ruined my life

ok lsot

your doing well, better than well in fact. Your foresight and aptitude to deal with this amazes me every day...... but dont get to cocky. I've had a problem since i was 15, im now 35......so far, i've slipped about 14 times, each one messier than the last, but that dont mean you have to. You WILL fall, i garentee you that, but because of your admission, it can only make your resolve stronger.....like mine. Every time i woke with a hangover {after i admitted it} i was disgusted with myself. You will hit bottom, and belive me, that aint happened yet, but when it does, you'll have me, the wikipeeps, and probably your wife right there to support you.

Your a brave man

M

Wow Matt, thanks for that. It means a lot. Japanese proverb..fall 7 times, stand up 8

Well done Lsot1! No great advice except I have been of wine for just a little while drank far too much blamed it on bad relationship anyway last night I thought I have done well it friday no work tomrrow Im feeling good i will have a few drinks result I feel like . cr...p look like it to problems still there and didnt really enjoy it either plus i didnt have that lovely feeling snuggling in to my bed glad that I was sober hang on its worth it and so are you

Thanks Inc. You do start to realise how crap you felt every day. We shall overcome!

Day 10...

Had the best sleep I've had for ages last night. Before I went to bed, I chatted with Jane for quite a while via txt. (it takes me ages to write due to fat thumbs and no practice!). I wont go into what was said, I know what it was and what it meant. It's way way way too early to speculate anything. This morning I feel strangely at peace. I actually feel that I need more time alone for ME. I'm enjoying being myself again and doing things I want. I miss Jane like mad, I really do, but I need to mend me like she needs to mend herself.

Onwards and upwards:)

Quick update. I got all fed up tonight and txted Jane. She asked me to go round to hers for a bit. Just got back. We talked a bit about things and I'm going back there for my tea tomorrow. She is missing me so much. Me too.

There maybe trouble ahead, but where there's moonlight....

Day 12. Went to Jane's for tea last night. We chatted for a long time and then quite unprovoked, she said:

'I shouldn't be telling you this, but what I want to happen is that you get sorted out, get the bankruptcy over and done and if or when you lose the house, I want you to move in here with me. It will be a complete fresh start for both of us. We have a lot of work to do, but that's what I want'

I tried to remain calm about it, which I did, and I said, 'thanks, that's what I want too'.

We watched telly then for an hour or so and then I left. As I was leaving, she gave me a big hug, it wasn't a friend hug either, she held me tight and kissed my neck.

Now, I know that there is a lot of water to go under the bridge before anything like the above can happen, and that it may never happen, but it has given me something more positive to work towards.

Here's hoping, but not too hard!

wishing you both the best