Feeling so confused with current relationship.....

I am in love with someone who doesn''t share his feelings verbally, he says he has never shared anything with his family about how he feels about them. I feel totally loved when we are together but he doesn''t say anything about love or the future and it does make me feel insecure. When we have talked (or tried) he admits he needs to change and has asked me to help. We had a chat over the weekend and I am still slightly confused. I told him I wanted to be with someone who loved me and who told me as it was important to me and that I wasn''t sure he could give that to me because he either didnt love me or couldnt say it. I asked him if he thought the relationship had come to an end in his opinion and he said he enjoys spending time with me and that he gets excited when he knows hes going to see me, he cares for me and wants to take care of me, I asked him if had fallen for me and he replied yes. He said he needs to let go off his feelings and embrace them and that he didnt want the relationship to finish.

We have both been married and divorced (through cheating, not ours spouses) and are not youngsters but we are not over the hill either lol!!

What do you think and do you have any advice on how to help/handle.

How long have you been together?

10 months

Just remember that the early part of a relationship is usually when people do all they can to impress. If your partner is not fulfilling your emotional needs now and they only change as a result of your persuasion, then it probably won''t be genuine and they''ll go back to how that really are in no time. There is the choice of you becoming less dependent on affection etc, but that''s not being true to yourself.

Sometimes people are just not compatible and they make the mistake of pursuing the relationship in the hope that things will change. Don''t fall for the dream, fall for the reality.

Rich

I completely understand what you''re saying and agree to a point but only because he makes me feel totally loved and special when we are together and when we are apart, txts, phone calls, etc..In fact I have never felt so special in a relationship before. The only stumbling block is his inability to share deep feelings, which is what makes me wonder, does he love me or doesn''t he ? I have no problems sharing mine and I know we are all different but the question is, does he feel it and needs to try and share or does he not and so subsequently won''t.

Richie is right. If you are having to pursuade and cajole someone to meet your emotional needs, then it is unlikely to be sustained.

The more relevant question is whether this man is emotionally available. If he is not able to articulate how he feels, then it is understandable that you will wonder where you stand.

He acknowledges his inability to express his feelings is affecting the relationship. He might need support to overcome these matters but he should be taking responsibility for resolving this properly.

If he isnt addressing these matters properly through explaining the things that are causing him to hold back or getting support to do so, then think about how long you can tolerate feeling insecure. You just want to know where you stand, its not unreasonable.

With respect, it''s only been 10 months. It could be that he''s waiting until he''s sure before opening up to you fully, I''d give it some time.

It sounds to me that you have a great relationship and that you should go and enjoy it! Try not to taint a good thing with fear, but be aware of the issue and communicate well.

Good luck.