Dump a pregnant woman

Obviously no man can be a callous as this poster appears to be. Begging the question, what does he/she wish to gain here?

I think when you're in shock and desperate, you don't always think before you post.

I'm not defending him here, just trying to see from a different view point.

Middi,
I can assure you that plenty of men are callous in these situations - I am living proof of that! I also am good friends with a woman I met in a pregnancy chat room going through exactly the same thing as me. Men can, and do, walk away from pregnant women without looking back. In my case, I have been married for 9 years and this is our third child - he is a great father to the other two. He has ignored this one - not because he doesn't want it, but because he is ashamed of his beahaviour but is unable to put it right. We are not young and we are educated to post grad level. This happened. It is a reality. So of course it is me who got pregnant on purpose, me who was having an affair, for me and me alone for whom this whole thing is terribly 'convenient'. Until you have been pregnant and not wanted to be, you can have no idea how it feels to be in this situation.

I agree that it is good Toms has been honest and is trying to make sense of a horrible situation - he has plenty to think about if he comes back to this thread. He has made mistakes but it is not too late to put it all right, even if the right thing is walking away but facing up to fatherhood - to do that, he needs to be honest with himself. Something many, many people are unable to acheive.

Sorry, that was a bit of a rant - don't mean to offend. This is a topic very close to my heart as I am 24 weeks pregnant!

"To make a baby takes 2 and the responsibility of contraception lies with BOTH of you"
and yet as I said before the decision to end the pregnancy or not lies only with the woman. You can't have it both ways. How many men have grieved for their baby when the mother has had an abortion against their wishes? Where does "the responsibility lies with both of you" feature in that scenario?
I doubt Toms will come back to this thread. He came here for support and advice and all he received was a character assasignation.
I'm generally regarded as a bit old fashioned and not an ardent feminist, but if I had unprotected sex with a man I had only been with for a couple of months and who didn't love me, I wouldn't expect anything from him at all. I would take full responsibility for my actions and for the baby.
mumtoboys situation is, of course, entirely different and I have every sympathy with her difficult situation.

The problem with posting on a public forum is that you invite the thoughts and opinions of others, even those you dont want to hear.

penny10p wrote:

I doubt Toms will come back to this thread. He came here for support and advice and all he received was a character assasignation.

I disagree, many people gave their thoughts in a calm, non-aggressive manner. Their views may not be what toms wanted to hear but that is a risk people take when posting on a public forum. Hopefully toms is able to look at these varying views and gain something from them. He is welcome to post further.

well said Rosie