have the money but dont want it to go to kids

Yes Justaparent. Put it in a savings account for the kids if you want. What's good for the goose............

justaparent, it's entirely up to you. My ex didn't declare all his income and I accepted less than CSA rates on that.

fiona as you say people may shout for shared residence, but this may not be in the childs best interest, as in my case my x wanted overnight contact, i refused based on things she had told me about her new partner, she took me to court and CAFCASS submitted their report, details in the report about her new partner were even worse then what she had told me and the result was the overnights were refused and the amount of contact she had with our son was reduced by about 60% and conditions placed on it by the judge.

I have no objections on paying child maintenance to our daughter, but when it comes to taking my daughter out to eat and to go on holiday, I will self fund these, my wife on the other wants the following, she wants me to pay for all her school uniform, she wants £200 to £300 for decorating our daughters room, she also wants me to pay for all her piano and dance classes and to pay 50% for if she takes her out to eat and 50% if my wife takes her on holiday, and most importantly she wants £200 per month for child maintenance.

I have my own bills to pay including debt she incurred on my credit cards and she wants the above

Fiona wrote:

I agree, Mark, some mothers who are NRPs are just as bad or worse than some father NRPs at paying child support. Also some father PWCs are just as bad or worse than some mother PWCs at with holding contact.

According to CSA statistics NRP mothers are worse at paying than NRP fathers.

My point is that the legislation and policy is bsed on false gender stereotypes.

I also wanted to emphasise what no one seems to have taken on board which is that paying through the CSA takes money OUT of a family: it makes the family poorer.

This situation will get worse because the government is handing responsibility for collection and enforcement to private companies which will need paying and will want to return a profit to their shareholders. That money can only come from the NRP.

I do not oppose parents taking financial responsibility for their children. I oppose them doing it THROUGH THE CSA. They are shoring up bigotted and ineffective government policy.

(Sorry to shout:blush: )

Pheonix mate, just ignore her. I'm in the same boat. Call me selfish ("Oh, go on then, you're selfish") but having paid my child maintenance plus a bit, after that I spend money on the kids as I see fit. Which frankly is often and a lot. But it will be my choice, not their Mum's who has already had the money once. Don't get me wrong, I'm lucky financially and the kids want for nothing but when my ex says that the kids absolutely must have A and B (it's usually stuff like tennis lessons which they don't really want to go to) and I say fine, we'll go 50/50, the need seems to disappear as quickly as it came. Odd that