have the money but dont want it to go to kids

sadmother wrote:

Oh so female judges are biaised are they and male judges not? Where do you get that from?

ALL judges are biased one way or the other. They have to be because they are trying to find some sort of balance, however it does seem to me (as a male) I personally think I'd "fancy my chances" more with a female judge.

Angelheart1962 wrote:

I dont know about the guilt. The other thing he likes to do is wait until the kids have asked me for something, toy, game etc, and I cant buy it, then he takes them into town and treats them to it so he is lovely Daddy.
Makes my blood boil.

From my perspective when I have my children (normally only the younger one) I try very hard to simply do "normal" things with them. Certainly the last thing I personally would do is pick up that new XBOX game when he has said she says he can't have it (for whatever reason).

It would be very easy just to fill the weekend full of treats - but that would be unhelpful - we do together what we've always done - but it is the normality we had previously).

Zaphod, I dont know how I am getting the bulk of everything when I have £5 a week and he has spent £35000! Maybe the female judge has a better insight because she knows what children cost more than her husband does?

I applaud you though for doing normal stuff with your kids. It shouldnt be a competition who should buy them more, my 2 have already cottoned on to that and quite mercilessly plan what they will ask Daddy for at the weekend lol.

Yes, I agree - once the children have realised exactly who provides what, i.e love, understanding patience, care, help with homework, help with their relationships,
support when they're unhappy, etc etc.


Let them take him for every penny they can get - as i see it for 2 kids as my eldest son said I receive 20% of his wages for the three of us and Oh Yes he receives 80% of his wages for the one of him.

By the way, when I asked their father to increase child maintenance in line with csa regulations and he refused I happily asked for an assessment by the csa.

He response was that he was going to send his 18 year old son and 15 year old daughter for dna testing.

Do you think I will not grab every penny that I possibly can for me and the kids - oh definitely I will.

Hopefully I will get the same judge that some of the haridans got.

Angelheart1962 wrote:

Zaphod, I dont know how I am getting the bulk of everything when I have £5 a week and he has spent £35000! Maybe the female judge has a better insight because she knows what children cost more than her husband does?

I applaud you though for doing normal stuff with your kids. It shouldnt be a competition who should buy them more, my 2 have already cottoned on to that and quite mercilessly plan what they will ask Daddy for at the weekend lol.

Angelheart, I don't think I said you were getting the bulk of everything. I think that may have been somebody else. If I appeared to be saying that I'm sorry. Clearly if you get £5 then your ex is on one of the relevant benefits, though if he has recently received 35k I don't see why that should be so.

I'm glad your kids have worked their father out. All that remains is for him to do so himself.

hi all,

well despite all the commetns good and bad here is the result.

we went to Court.

I now have to pay £200 per child per month from now and until they finish a three year degree whichever is soonest.

also have to pay £100 per month each child if they do go though Uni.

so thats £600 per month!

I think i got off pretty lightly, even the CSA CALCULATOR throws out figures of at least £765 per month to my ex wife for the twin girls (how can twin girls begin to cost that per month??)

I think i got a lesser monthly amount cos I now have to pay even longer.....but hey.....IM happy she isnt.....and kids are none the wiser as ex doesnt think they should be involved so no chance shes gonna blacken my name to them.

so Im now £600 a month down.......

just thought after all the posts u might wanna know the outcome

derek

thanks for that Derek

Shezi