Need some advice because I think I am going mad

It doesn't scare him because he isn't interested in love - not in the proper sense anyway, not in cultivating a long term relationship that involves mutual respect and trust - at least from what you say, that's the way it looks to me.

Good luck - 30 is young!!! You have your whole life ahead of you.
xxx

I married at 29, had our first baby and first STI at 30!

Stayed married, had another daughter at 33 and a third at 35.

Please please. think about yourself and your longterm happiness. There are plenty of good people out there for you. Maybe your X is the right man for you, maybe not, but at the end of the day you ARE a young woman. Don't end up wasting years on someone who doesn't appreciate you, as I did.

Jo x

It was only when I took the doormat sticker off my forehead and applied for a divorce did my X decide to change and be sorry and beg for forgiveness for the shit life he had led me.

It was too late. But I had already given him 18 plus years of my life. I stayed with him at 30 because I believed him when he said he loved me and was sorry for cheating etc. etc. I had just given birth to our first daughter and wanted the happy married life, and 24/7 father for our daughter.

Think, talk, maybe visit a counsellor. This is your life, don't waste it.

Jo x

Hya Florri

Just read the post - Its rather apt if you dont mind me saying - "You are going mad" - your not "going" you "are" mad..

Your 30, young, wonderful & have so much life ahead of you, you have been through a bad relationship, that didnt go according to plan, you were lied to, cheated on & now manipulated into making decisions you feel were not right.. (hugs)

I`m 39 & boy does 30 seem so long ago, all the things I have acheived, the tears, the laughter, the fun people & friends I have made, the holidays, & most of all the experience & wisdom gathered since then to make me who I am today.

Each day gets better & soon the whole experience will be part of the past.. You will have more relationships. they may or may not work out - who knows..

But one day the man of your dreams will be there & boy will you know it when TRUE LOVE smacks you in the face - Its uncomplicated & there are no Q`s no Answers, even the butterflies in your tummy flutter differently, enjoy your life & everything it brings & just take solace in the fact that day may arrive ( I was 36)..

Just be strong my dear, everything will work out just fine...

Angel 1
x

I'm 41 Florri, and I don't think it's too late to find love eventually, the kind of love that's returned of course. I've had plenty of the ONE-WAY love. But I really believe, if you do take the huge fantastic step to get rid of this creep, a little time on your own, learning to love yourself would be good! You're only 30 and have plenty of time to think about starting a family - with the right person - so get to know yourself first, then you'll never be a dorrmat again!!! Good Luck x

You were all right! I was a fool. Went and put the div papers in, agreed to a draft financial agreement. Signed etc and guess what - he doesn't know if he wants to try. He needs to go away and 'recover' from how much money it is costing him. He is going on hol for 4 weeks and when he comes back (despite moving 3 hrs away) with his job he may decide that he wants to give it a go, he may not. I am at a complete loss. How mmuch longer am i expected to stick around for but i'd prob do it forever if there is hope. I feel completely lost and alone.

Florri hun, please please please wake up!

This man is a coward and a wimp and is leading you on because he doesn't have the balls to say it's over. I'm sure it does his ego no harm to have you at his beck and call too.

He needs to go away to recover from how much this has all cost him - what?! Excuse him! He's the one who cheated, he's the one who has pushed it through the court, and it is his fault and his fault alone that he now has a hefty bill to pay.

Please, while he is away, think carefully about your own worth as a human being. You deserve someone to love you, cherish you, and respect you. You deserve someone who will make you happy and someone who will look after you. He doesn't do any of these. That's not right Florri, that's not a good relationship. That's not a happy life.

Can you name one nice thing he has done in the last 6 months? One thing that has made your heart soar and made you feel special? You deserve so, so much more.

Take the bull by the horns and write him a letter and tell him it's over and to apply for the absolute, otherwise you'll do it yourself. Pack a bag and go and stay with friends/family/anyone so that you're not alone and pining for him. He will be shocked and his ego will take a battering, and you can finally start to believe in yourself again.

Stop putting yourself through this hell Florri. You can stop it now.

xx