Need some advice because I think I am going mad

As a matter of interest, does the nisi not 'expire' after a certain time if the absolute is not applied for? Is it 6 or 12 months?

I'm young and can see where you are coming from Florri. You want to try to stick with it because I am assuming this is your first marriage and not sure you want to give up so easily.

If your STBX is genuinely interested in you and loves you, for you, aside from the money issues, then give it a go and try to work through the problems. But if you have a small inkling feeling that he is just only concerned about the money and having you as a trophy wife when he wants to go out for dinner and dates, then lose him. Over 50% of divorces are based on money issues/problems, is this something that you can work through or that you think your husband would be willing to work through? Consider why he would want to keep his money and finances separate, is he only looking out for his own interests?

If you don't trust him on those networking sites, ask yourself why? If you haven't learned or worked together on rebuilding the trust that was broken between you two then how is there any hope for you to be together. If both of you aren't able to put in the time, effort and love in the relationship, then it will never work.

You both need to meet each other half way, and if you find yourself going above and beyond to make it work, is it really worth it? I am also struggling with my own marriage too and its hard because you want to see through the bad, because you know what the good times were like. People change and circumstances change in life, and if you aren't changing together with each other, then you will only grow apart until inevitably getting a divorce. So is it something you choose to do now, or continue through the mud and go through it later?

Florri

You are allowing this man all the say - whether you get divorced, what the financial arrangements will be, oh hang on because he might want to get back together.

What about you?

30 is young. I didn't marry until I was 34 and had my sons when I was 35 and nearly 38.

Lots of women have babies later- you don't have to stick with a useless man because you might have children. He will be just as unreliable as a father.

Ditch him. Once you are divorced, if he wants to woo you, jolly good. But don't sit about waiting for him - go out and get a life.

Florri

You are allowing this man all the say - whether you get divorced, what the financial arrangements will be, oh hang on because he might want to get back together.

What about you?

30 is young. I didn't marry until I was 34 and had my sons when I was 35 and nearly 38.

Lots of women have babies later- you don't have to stick with a useless man because you might have children. He will be just as unreliable as a father.

Ditch him. Once you are divorced, if he wants to woo you, jolly good. But don't sit about waiting for him - go out and get a life.

I married at 29, had my first child at 30 and my husband cheated on me (giving me an STI) shortly after having my first child, so still aged 30.

I stayed in that marriage until I was 46, produced two more daughters.

Like you, I felt I should stay - biggest mistake I made. You have no children with him as yet. Get out now. Find someone who will love and respect you.

Jo x

Too right Nell!
In my first marriage I was always making excuses for his behaviour
and every time something went wrong I never got to the bottom of it so it festered! No way to live! He eventually left me at 6 months pregnant and behaved badly towards us and I eventually got to the point where I had more respect for myself and my daughter than to want him in our life at all. I didn't find out he was having an affair until my baby was 6 wks old and I thought I was going mad!
You deserve better than this. Trust is not a right, you give it freely but when it is abused it has to be earned!