still hurting after 2 years

Exactly - good for us and if he has no-one now he only has himself to blame.

I just hope that our stories let others going through something similar now that there is life after and it can be even better. It may not seem like it at the time and it's still hard to get through but you can get there.

Janey

i know a lot of how you feel, my soon to be ex walked out over 3 years ago with no discussions, he then was like a yo yo for the next 3 years, til we find out than he has been seeing a girl who is already married and younger than my eldest son.. seems we were good enough to fill the gaps when she back playing happy families with her husband....our son together (who ex begged me to have), is 8 years old and i hate my ex for what he has done to him, (to me also, but hey im a grown up), my 4 older children from a previous marriage have avoided any contact with him since the news came out, and yes its like being with a stranger who no longer smiles at you or embraces you. I had all the blaming, including tricking him into having a child (REALLY)?????, i cant answer your questions, but wanted you to know you are so not on your own..... rebuilding trust...where the hell would we start??

...trust? That's one of the things that worries me the most - will I ever be able to trust again?
I have read so many posts like this on here and can't believe how many of us are in the same boat. Doesn't really help, but it does make you realise you are not alone.
This site is amazing and gives me hope.
Lets all be brave - we are worth so much more respect!
Take care all x

Ummm, guess that's the downside of the forum. We see that this is such a common situation and it makes us wary because it seems infidelity is so rife. It's certainly coloured my view on things. But at the same time, I've gained so much for being here, reading others' experiences and ranting away about my own. Double edged sword and all that...

I only introduced myself last night and have been working (I have 3 jobs now!)so just checked my email and was overwhelmed to see so many responses. Thank you all so much!

The whole moving on with relationships saga, my husband and I had both been married before and I was very wary!
We each had a child and had both been badly treated by our x. He had to work very hard to earn my trust and when we became a family it was great, we married and had a child of our own and both APPARENTLY counted our blessings, until he changed. He had always reassured me that having been treated so badly himself he would never do that to anyone else. The betrayal seems that much worse because he knew how much courage it took me to trust him,and to take on the role of Dad to my daughter and I had lost my Mother 2 years before this happened.I supported him to make a career change and he is now much better off financially as a result and doing a job he loves.

I also count as a blessing that our marriage brought me a super stepson and another beautiful daughter. Also that he was a great Dad to them as they were growing up and very involved in everything they did. He must miss that surely?His OW had no children, they run marathons together. None of the kids want anything to do with him. I have 2 dogs and I enjoy walking with them,it helps. I would just like it all to be over.

I certainly will not have another relationship (my Dad and stepdad also treated my Mum badly). That is just a reality for me and it's actually quite liberating. I will rely on myself from now on.

Everyone has to do what is right for them and their family.

Incidentally, how unfair is it that we still have to pay for all this to be sorted out!!!!!

Thank you all again from my heart. It's a cliche but it is true that no-one really understands unless they have been through it.

This was like reading something I had written myself, spot on.

Hi

I am now 3 years post leaving and 2 years post divorce.

I was with my ex for 20 odd years. Following having our first child within the first year of marriage, I caught an STI. He begged and pleaded forgiveness and saidit was a one night stand and I believed him, continued the marriage and had two more daughters. Fast forward 18 years and he decides to tell me that the first ten years of our marriage were basically a sham and he had shagged everything and anything that walked. I asked why he told me and he said he wanted to clear his head and continue our relationship on an honest basis.

I became ill, shocked, couldn't cope with life. I was very overweight when he told me all this and I took to my bed and put on even more weight. As it was a long time ago I could justify staying with him because in my state (that he had put me) I couldn't cope with the family, animals on my own. And as for a divorce, goodness me, not a chance, I would not have had the energy.

6 months after the great confession, he told me the name of one of the women he had had sex with. All of a sudden a huge light came on in my head. It was like a surge of power and I kicked that man to the ground. I found the energy to get shut, I lost 7 stone in weight (I needed to!) through healthy eating and exercise.

Today - well my daughter about to go to University!!!!! So what I would like to say to lying, cheating, disgusting, inadequate, sumbag weazel of an ex husband, THANK YOU for giving me 3 beautiful stunning daughters.

You know what all you who have posted on this thread - you will be fine, you will be great - it is your X who has the problems - not you.

I don't care if my X has slept with the whole of the United Kingdom (including Ireland and Scotland, lol). They are welcome to him - I am in the most fantastic place and all because of his confessions.

You will all survive and end up in a better place, promise.

Jo x