Struggling to carry on (long post)

Hi Michael - Thank you for sharing your story so honestly and so powerfully. My heart goes out to you and your family. When you feel desperate, we do desperate things, without any thought for the consequences. All we can do is focus on the need to do something to change our situation. From all you say, I know you embezzled money from the very best of intentions and love for your family. There is no higher love than that, to put yourself in difficulties for love of others.

You then owned up to what you did and are willing to face the consequences. Yet more evidence of your love and care for your family. I know you have done something wrong and are feeling guilty about that, but please try not to be quite so hard on yourself.

It seems to me your wife is in shock at the moment. She probably thought your relationship was suffering due to stress or whatever. Next thing she knows is you've admitted to doing something criminal. I'm sure she didn't expect that. Her reaction wasn't to toss you out and disown you, she went out and got a job to try and help. That to me is evidence that she loves you and your family and will do whatever it takes to sort things out.

You both have a huge amount to deal with and the outcome of your prosecution is uncertain. I realise this is very very difficult, but please try not to let strong feelings about what you have done *(both yours and your wife's) determine what happend with your marriage. In my opinion, the two issues, while closely linked are separate.

Try to focus on the practical issues of selling the house and keeping the family going financially. What you are doing looking after the children and house may not be putting ££ in the bank, but they are necessary and if you weren't doing them, someone would have to, possibly being paid by you and your wife.

Please try to give both you and your wife some time and space to get to grips with things. This may take some time. You have been together a long time and there isn't any reason for you to sort your relationship out quickly or in any particular time frame.

Ok, you screwed up, you are doing all you can to address that. Please keep on with that and looking after your family. Perhaps trying not to sort out your relationship right now, may give both of you time to figure out what it is you really want, while you deal with some practicalities. Then in a while, once things are clearer with court, etc. you and your wife may find a way to rediscover the love and passion you still feel for each other.

I'll pray for you. Please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.

Take care, Bon

hawaythelads wrote:
"

You won't see it now michael but this could be the best thing that ever happens to you.
a lot of women take a back seat and leave all the providing to the fella."



Yep - thats about what I come to expect from you hawaway the lads ( what a facile name) She gave up HER job to look after the children - a mutual decision. She PROVIDED a home for Michael and their children. When Michael was struggling she got a job.Or did you not bother reading that bit? Far better to have yet another pointless jibe at women lol!
.

Micheal - I am sorry to hear of your predicament. You are obviously deeply remorseful. BUT this is far too close to home for me to comment objectively.
A very good friend of mine's husband has been caught doing the same thing at his work. She actually works part time as well and from what she has told me, they are reasonably comfortably off. This did not stop him from doing what he did though.


I agree with you - you are to blame. I feel for your wife BUT I also think that you are truly remorseful and it might be worthwhile showing her your post.
But sweetie, it may be that she just cannot trust you anymore.

I wish you luck - I really do.

I think your names very apt too hun. i loved the borgias.

ffs luc cut the guy some slack it takes two to tango...some think one providing and one spending is excellent give and take tango, marriages/tangoes that work on one gives and one takes are doomed when one is doing all the giving and one is doing all the taking!

E

Heavens above! I had no idea that user names mattered.
My "facile" name is taken from the cheap handwash in my bathroom. I wish now I'd called myself Molton Brown.

Elle, Enliven NO.

I am sorry but this poster offends me more than anyone I have evver come across here. His constant jibes at women irritate me beyond recall.

In this case for example, the wife HAS done her best to support her husband but NO for some he still comes across as being the victim with her the cold calculating bi atch who just sat back and let it happen,

In my experience I have never come across any woman like that and we only have HIS word that it happened to him.( I am talking about haway and his whinging of losing 300K btw not the OP)

My friend is going thro 75 different types of hell at the moment but were her husband to come on here and put his side forward, she would be labelled by hawaythelads as someone who sat at home all day and did nothing - even tho that is blatantly not true.

Oh and for every permatanned woman down the gym that you claim to see haway, I can match it with a beer swigging, pot bellied layabout who beats his wife - well anyone can to generalise;)

So no Elle I will not give him a break. I will not give anyone who constantly makes nasty little jibes against my sex a break. THAT is not what I am about.

Enliven - I don't normally make remarks about people's names hon. His just annoys me.

hawaythelads wrote:

I think your names very apt too hun. i loved the borgias.

Please don't "hun" me.

Secondly - you didn't answer my point - she did support her husband. Perhaps you would like to recind your remark?