where do i start?

wow - what a bastard (can I say that on here!?) but sadly you are right. Many of us lie if we think we can get away with it (not that i've had an affair!) and most of us hate change so if the lie goes undetected and we can carry on.

P x

When I confronted mine he said "what's the matter don't you trust me" I said "no, its a bit difficult when you have had an anonymous
call saying your husband is having an affair" He admitted it straight away. I hadn"t had a call, I just called his bluff and got my answer. 23 years of marriage down the pan for a 23 year old girl!!

He married her in September, my children didn't get a Christmas present from him this year, obviously she needs presents more than they do. Yes, I am angry, these men and women think they can do what they want but it is the ones left behind who suffer and they don't give a damn.

Cakedec

Your children didn't get a present from their own father???????????

Flipping heck, what a so and so. He goes off with a younger woman and then abandons his kids.

All I can say is that he will get his just deserts when he is older and his young bit of stuff has left him and he is left with nothing, not even his kids, because they certainly won't want him.

You are so better off without him.

Speak soon

Jo x

Yes thats right Jo, they didn't get anything from him. I can't believe he would do that to them, but then again she got her own way. He told me she didn't want anything to do with them and it looks like she convinced him he doesn't either.

He will get his just desserts in time and I will be the one laughing at him!!!!

What utterly selfish creatures. To destroy a marriage is one thing, but to devastate children at this special time of year is really out of order.

Cakedec, you are so right, your ex will be reap what he sows in buckets.

Pip, why he is taking your daughter's brother and not her on holiday?

Jo x

Wow - don't know about the laugh but you certainly see people for who they truely are! I only hope that at some stage in the future those in the wrong get their cumupance and those in the right find happiness! Good luck to us all in this coming new year

P x

There seems to be a lot of 'Men only leave there family if they are having an affair' on this thread.

As a man who's marriage broke down and ended without another woman involved. I can honestly say this is not always the case.

In my case we both knew our marriage had been on the rocks for a number of years. She admits to purposely hurting me emotionally to get a desired reaction. Told me to leave many times, etc.
a few weeks before we split she was telling me she wanted a divorce and wanted me to move out, how it would work with access to the children etc.
However, when I finally stood up and decided to leave of my own free will. She quickly forgot everything that went before and the story became: I decided I didn't love her and left for no reason. I met someone soon after and after some months as friends that turned into a serious relationship. So now my ex tells everyone that I left her for this OW.

So don't be so quick to judge. It's easy to draw the wrong conclusion with only one side of the story.
If as you say the marriage was going really well and this is a genuine shock then you would be right to suspect and external influence. But it is really worth looking back over the last few years, have you been close to this before? Is this another round of 'trying to put things back on track' that has failed?

It is a difficult time and the things we do and choices we make have long term effects. it's important to take your time and not react too quickly. To get through this both parties must want it and be prepared to compromise on some things and go the extra mile to rebuild trust.