Accepting Its Over

Thanks Elizabeth

We booked the holiday 2 weeks before she first spoke to me about her loss of feelings. We were looking at buying a new property 3 months ago. I feel i deserve to go on holiday and want to tsee the joy on the girls faces, i know it will be hard but i want to do this for them. They are so looking forward to it.

Over the last four weeks i have been doing extra housework to ease her burden of the house chores. I always did do some of the housework but i work long hours so she is left to do most of it as she works part time hours.

We are within a close knit group of friends, they are shocked by this too. She is so headstrong though and seems determined now to carry out what she has started.

Things point to someone else being involved although i am 90% sure there isnt, the paranoia doesnt help though. I am struggling with keeping a holf reality at times as this has been a living nightmare for weeks now. I know thats dark and low but its just so hard.

Feeling better after doing this tonight, need to take each day as it comes at the moment.

Carton,

I'm off to bed now but I am still puzzled how your wife can be talking about buying a new property 3 months earlier and your holiday was booked not long ago ? and she then decides she doesnot want to be with you anymore? My questions would be why? why did this "problem" not come to be discussed before these two major events?

I know the girls are looking forward to the holiday - so take them and not your wife!!!!!

She's the one who doesn't want the situation - let her behind then.,...

Hi i feel for you i am going through a similar situation although i have realy brought it on myself.
please do take the advice of taking a step back and giving her some time and space.
The mistakee i have made was to push and try and it hasnt worked it has only made things worse.
It has got to a point where i was arrested and charged with harassment, i am in court this week.
my bail conditions are rediculous i cannot go to the area we lived even though all my family live close by, my kids swim every day, i cannot go the the pool, i cant go to the gym, i cant go anywhere that my wife goes or i will be re-arrested and remanded in custody. i cant even contact her through a third party, i run my own business and my mobile phone was siezed as evidence, so have also lost work.

it is very hard but be careful not to push too hard you will only make things worse like i have done.

hmm!

Don't think your situ sounds remotely like Cartons - what have you done to have the normal things "removed" from you?

no i havent put all my details down, i have been goin through this for 8 months now, on the friday she loved me and gave me a kiss, on the monday she didnt love me and wanted me out, where is the difference, men always get the raw deal in these situations, i worked away and came home one weekend and had been moved out into a rented house

hi carton

have been reading your posts and the responses you've got.

its still early days hun and everything will be so raw and the pain just too much..

you do need to focus on you and your children...be strong for them and come into wiki when you need a rant/hug...

plenty of people going through similar situations n one way or another...

nearly 5 mths ago i sat here at my dinning room table with photos of me and my ex, bottles of wine and pills....ok so i was drunk at the time even sent my ex a txt mesg asking him to look after my babies (cats 3) and saying sorry i wasnt good enough for him...

then i realised my life (and yours) is worth more..

they are the ones who have put us through this hell....

its funny (not funny, odd) ive seen more and more new people coming onto wiki and they are at the situation i was months ago...the support i had back then was unbelievable...i didnt think i could get through another day...ok so i dont have children to think about, i do my cats and i adore them....but without wiki it would have been a whole lot worse...

i get days when im really low, hate what he's done (affair - 15 years together) im not at the divorce stage yet in my eyes its too early...but my point is you will come out the other end..

my advice to you is stay strong for the little ones and be kind to yourself...

take care honey

Daisy
xx

Hi Carton

Welcome to wiki this can be another support network for u and sometimes its easier to talk to people not face to face.

We've all been thru similar times and yes it REALLY hurts. But u have your beautiful girls to think of and u don't want to put them thru more pain by hurting yourself in anyway.Get help from your GP, tablets,counselling, chat on here.

Lucky u got close knit group of friends too, don't be afraid to be really honest bout how low u feel, they may not understand, but will want to b there for u, even ask them just to listen, not necessarily offer advice.

If u have to talk to your wife, try and keep calm or maybe even write her a letter, not accusing or anything just explaining u really confused and don't know where this come from. Tell her u still love her maybe evn c if she'd consider relate?

Perhaps even if she away on her own this weekend, give her letter before she goes so she can really think. Also, why can't u have kids over weekend?

Take care and keep us posted

Big hugs

Scared x x