Accepting Its Over

I'm sorry for your feelings!

You are right though, pleading won't help at all. Play with the children and try to laugh with them. There are hard times ahead as you know but begging won't help at all. You need to be the strong man she married. Remember that man? Step back into his shoes if you can. I know this is really difficult...maybe even impossible..but try if you can. Don't let her see you weak! Do you think there may be someone else? Could you find out?

Andy

You will feel different again in a few weeks but these early days will be bad. You'll have to wait it out and see what happens.

What age group are you in... could be a mid life crisis..

Is she depressed or having problems with the children, demanding her time etc... Youve got to start looking closer but give her some space..

It a really aweful feeling I know.

i am filled with paranoia that there may be someone else but when i have asked her she gets angry and has said 'why would i want to go from one messy relationship to another' or 'going from one idiot to another' - how she can be so cruel i dont know, i am a nice person who is caring, generous and loyal. I dont deserve this anger from her with everything else that's going on.

Could she have rehearsed her reaction, knowing it was inevitable?

Am i only being paranoid?

Signs:
She does get herlself ready early before going you to meet her friends and has been going out alot recently. The reason for this she says is she doesnt want to be here seeing me looking down??? Over the last few weeks when she has been out i have given her a massage in bed, had the odd kiss etc so would she still be allowing that knowing she has been with someone else. She is guarded with her mobile but i put that down to her friends texting her at night to see how SHE is??? I have checked her phone and found nothing there but i will check again given the chance.

The thought of it frightens me as i am also dreading the thought of when she does meet someone else. God that scares me even more than this current situ.

We are both in mid thirties, she is a very attractive woman who wears nice clothes and likes to look nice. She is very head strong and stubborn. She does have morales and always told me i would be out if she ever caught me doing that. She has been taking even more care of herself recently and i have out this down to her wanting to make changes in her life.

If there is someone else then my feelings will turn to anger which is a new one i'll need to deal with, god i hope not.

The excuses for not havng me around as in the caravan trip and her parents keeping the kids so that i wouldnt have to look after them at our house. What else can i do to find out without being found out and at no cost?

Hi

Okay, well if she is dressing up more than before, going out more than before and she is guarding her mobile, then these are red flags.

I am not saying she is having an affair of course, but there are some danger signs. If you find that her mobile phone becomes 'stuck' to her then I would suggest that you check her call logs. But ONLY if you can't possibly be caught! I'm afraid I have been through this one before. In my ex's case, it was emails, yahoo messenger and then finally her mobile phone. It was stuck to her like glue!

Andy

i have had access to it and checked her contact list, her last dials and texts. she has deleted her sent and received for ages now though when at one point she couldnt send due to amount within the memory of the phone, since then she has always deleted her texts as she sends/receives them.

i checked the log message recipients and found only her friends names, although there could be a hide in there. I'll check when given the chance again, maybe tomorrow morning when she's in the shower. She had left her phone on charge in the kitchen this morning so i checked then, not the log this morning though.

I still feel that she wouldnt go against her morales of doing this but people change so i'll keep my eyes open to this.

This will kill me if she is, i'm finding this hard enough.

My ex took her phone to the shower and the bath! So you a doing better than I did:)

Maybe everything is ok in that department then. I hope so!


Andy

Think me and Andy have been there and are wearing the T-shirts.

The mobile phone was how i caught my wife out. They delete any text message that comes in and is send and stored as a sent message. However they sometimes forget. If the phones moving and been hidden then you need to watch out.

Mine spent money on the credit card to fund her new clothes and to fund her train tickets etc to see her new man.

Check the home telephone number. If your with BT you can login to your account and check phone numbers dialled, updated every other day.

Find out who shes going out with, where etc? you have a right to know. Your becoming the baby sitter.

You've got to grab this by the balls mate. If its new catch it now. it might not help, buts thats what i did. It knackered there relationship up straight away. He was just in it for you know what. But still i cant/wont have her back.

Good luck.