Accepting Its Over

Thanks Andy

Its an idea, i will consider it. Not seeing the girls for two week would be hard though.

I know what you mean though, out of sight/out of mind for both of us.

mainly for her. You will think of her every minute though.

The reason for my advice is to let her know what life is like without your love and support. She may find it a sobering experience. Then again, she might not. But you have little to lose either way. Your children will cope with your absence by the way. Just give them a good reason(a white lie).

Andy

Thanks Megan

My body tells me i need to eat so i do eat but very little. I know what you mean by eat healthy so i will do as you say.

Strengh is low just now so by eating this will help, mental strength is low too but will need to get my act together and go get a new job. Going to see doctor tomorrow for first time since so will be seeking help, not keen on medication though, i would lke face to face counselling.

What do you think?

David

Carton - its a shock to the system I know it happened to me eight weeks ago.

Thinks to do now! this is very very hard but do it--

Seek legal advise
Look after yourself now.
If you dont already start some exercise to get your mind of it. start running, cycling.
Let the tears come my friend dont hold it back
Dont grovel. infact dont say or do very much. you'll push her away even further.
Check out the coping thread.
Takecare of the kids. look up the effects to children and how to tell them. you need to be united on this, so put away your arguments
Why is she going away without the children? you need to find out whats triggered this!
Read as much as you can. Theres loads of advice and help and millions of people going through this. Your not alone.

Counselling didnt help me they make suggestions but i couldnt get through to my wife with any. She had made her mind up weeks before.

She's now moved out and finding it hard herself apparently. Not my problem now, only my children and myself now.

Carton - its a shock to the system I know it happened to me eight weeks ago.

Thinks to do now! this is very very hard but do it--

Seek legal advise
Look after yourself now.
If you dont already start some exercise to get your mind of it. start running, cycling.
Let the tears come my friend dont hold it back
Dont grovel. infact dont say or do very much. you'll push her away even further.
Check out the coping thread.
Takecare of the kids. look up the effects to children and how to tell them. you need to be united on this, so put away your arguments
Why is she going away without the children? you need to find out whats triggered this!
Read as much as you can. Theres loads of advice and help and millions of people going through this. Your not alone.

Counselling didnt help me they make suggestions but i couldnt get through to my wife with any. She had made her mind up weeks before.

She's now moved out and finding it hard herself apparently. Not my problem now, only my children and myself now.

Carton,

Obviously don't know the circumstances of this scenario - but I am puzzled by the holiday - obviously booked prior to your wife's sudden(?) decision to want to go separate ways. Hardly seems fair to me that you are expected to play happy familys whilst your heart is breaking.

I am going to stick my neck out here - why shouldn't she give you an explanation? - I really don't think it's fair that adults are expected to deal with all the "cr.." that comes our way in the best interests of the children - if we don't know what's going on then how can we?!!

Talking is always a good stand point. I agree with the other posts - begging and pleading does not work - but showing a strong side does. If there are statements made - ask for clarification...anyone can make a statement - but can they back it up?!!

As for your girls - don't assume they automatically belong to your wife - they are both your children - belong to BOTH of you.

I sympathise with you and your situ - can't understand it - but hope you will be ok - would you consider saying to your wife - "ok you don't want to be with me so I'll take the girls on holiday by myself"?

Cheers for that Balamory.

Its going to be hard to do these things and like the other suggestion of moving out for two weeks i will start now by considering these tasks.

I have found the whereabouts of a family/divorce lawyer locally so i think i'll make an appointment tomorrow.

I have thought of getting fitter, a fit body is a fit mind (so they say anyway). I play football so will keep doing that and get my weights out to use again.

Good advice, as like the others, thanks.