Hi all. Wife wants to seperate.

Counselling won''t achieve anything.
She might attend one session just as a token effort at which she will make it clear she doesn''t want to be there.
Your wife has been having an affair guaranteed.
She wants your physical presence gone.Your wallet can stay.
She will have the other bloke ready to move in.
She''ll have already applied for all the benefits and she will have it worked out to the penny that she can afford this.
She just wants you out and as much money thereafter as she can fleece out of you with the we might get back together story.
She doesn''t want to be with you anymore and your argument of what''s best for the kids she couldn''t give a monkeys about.
You won''t even be there to raise them she couldn''t care less.
The only reason to stay in the house it''s because it''s a better bargaining position to negotiate the finances from.Not any other reason.It generally turnd hellish especially when you''ve got a woman who has decided you are surplus to requirements and despises you for being there.
All the best
HRH x

Looks like the wife has been telling everyone about her efforts to get me out, its like a soap for all her friends! I''m not perfect but I work my b......s off for her and the kids sacrificing everything, she has her nice days with the kids, a little work and some social time with the other mums. I feel mugged and would like to live on my own to catch up with everything I have sacrificed.

I have moved all the DDs from the joint to my account so i can guarantee the bills and mortgage are getting paid. Not sure what I can do with the mortgage company? Wife is asking me for money yesterday as she has gone over drawn again, day before she spent £100+ in Ikea and after she has asked for money she had a nice lunch today on her credit card but it all my fault???

What do I do next, really don''t think I have a hope with her. Damage limitation time? is there some kind of check list for me to follow? How do I stop her blowing any equity left in the house?

Think you need to cancel any joint cards. If you decide to move out cancell all the bills such as gas etc. Continue to pay the mortgage in lieu of child maintenance.

Don''t under any circumstances move out and carry on paying for everything.

She wants you out so its time for her to get a reality check. Being single means being reasonable for her own finances.

To many ex''s think divorce means separation from their other half but not their bank accounts.

Well that was a f***ed up few days, I am now certain that my has absolutely no feelings for me at all and there is no compromise on me moving out ASAP.

At first it was ''you move out and I stay here with your assistance'' I pointed out that I can''t stay anywhere for free for more than a few weeks so this was not an option.

I have now got her to accept that until we have a legally singed document agreeing what will happen, I will not move out and the kids will not be told.

I think she may be in a little shock this evening as we went through all the finances and she now understands that separation means selling up and starting a fresh for both of us. I will obviously assist with the kids to the best of my abilities.

Still a long way to go....

Thanks everyone so far

Need a beer!

Omg dynactive. It''s like reading where I was five months ago. I did move out. Paid all the dd for three months. She was the same to begin with. Now she has turned from the sweet, nice woman I fell in love with to the devil herself. And yes. The village has seen her on numerous occasions with another man. She denies this of course saying the divorce Is all down to me. I worked too hard and took her for granted. It sounds like there is no difference to how my divorce started.
Now she uses the kids. No access to the house. Broke all though I have now stopped all but the mortgage. Debts mounting up now renting. Only seeing the kids for eight hours a week with two phone calls.
Your wife is probably getting advice from friends on how to screw your wallet and head. Please stay strong and get legal advice ASAP. Don''t do what I did and ignore half because you want to do the right things and be honourable. If you choose that way it costs. If she wants rid, then no matter how much you do for her or give her , it will never be enough. And when she sees you down she will kick you even more. Stay strong.
We''re all here for you. We have the t-shirt.

Thanks for the wise words, I think she is having a good think at her sisters right now.

Trying to stay positive, separation will mean I get to do my own thing. All I ever did was try and keep her happy.

Hard times ahead but only thinking on the positives .....

Hi
Everything can''t have been your fault, I have it on good authority that global warming, the conflict in Syria and the sinking of the Titanic were all down to me...ask my s2bx and she will tell you

You need to shut down any joint credit cards, but tell her you are doing this (saves embarrassment of a refused card). Speak to you mortgage lender and tell them there is a marital dispute, I had a flexible mortgage that either one of us could have drawn on, once the marital dispute was registered it means both signatures were required (actually you could argue it protects both of you).

I like the line ''you move out and I stay here with your assistance'' or to put it another way....''You can f**k off oh but could you still bank roll everything''

Advice still stands....don''t move out, no doubt you will be made out as some kind of evil b@stard by her for not falling in with her plan but you were always going to be painted that way... I am guessing Snappyvan moved out and sadly can tell you the consequences for him....

Stay positive....like you say you can do your own thing....you are released from the burden of keeping her happy, you''ve still got to provide for your kids, but I''ve no doubt that you will be doing right by them.

LB