Sad, lonely and confused

I have spent the last week walking from room to room wondering how I'll cope! I had my Husband back just before xmas and we had a lovely time. he had walked out in Sept after 14mths of marriage, found a new girlfriend within a week and basicaly she took my place. He pestered me to have him back and we agreed a date on which he would move back. 3days before that date I found him in this womans house, I was so sad and told her she was welcome to him. He begged and begged and he moved back with me on Dec 20th. I know I sound very weak and I probably am but my heart has always ruled my head. I have trust issues and realised it was never going to work, so, Jan 1st I talked to him and we decided to part and I havent seen him since. His friend picked his things up and I'm sure he's back with her. I own this house so have somewhere to live and I work so am copeing with bills etc but I feel so lonely. I don't know how to move on and I feel sorry for my 12yr old Son (my Hubby was not his Dad) I think I will be alone for the rest of my life with a house full of cats for company! Sorry this message is so long, it's helped just by writing it. Any thoughts you may have would be appreciated, just so I know I'm not alone. X

Hi

Welcome to wiki

Alone ! you'll never be alone on here lots of us in the same boat as parents with kids thinking noone else will want us , wrong there's always someone out there for us, just need a little bit of time and patience.You've only just begun this journey important rule be kind to yourself.

If you want pop into chat more busy from 8pm peeps in there will lift your spirits.

Hi angeldust

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened in your life recently.

Now you found this site - you are not alone. We are here for you 24/7.

I separated with my stbx in July and we started our divorce procedure in August. It has been very difficult. But sometime in December, I came across this site. I've recieved loads of practical advice as well as emotional support. These wiki people really keep me going ..

Hope you will keep posting to us.

Miko

Thanks for your kind words. I think I will be ok if I can stay tuned into this site! With having no family and friends, I feel isolated but chatting on here will help me see I'm not alone. If anyone from the Bristol area is on this site that would be good to know. At least I've managed to stop crying to write these posts!

Hi Angeldust

I'm glad to hear that you stopped crying

I'm sure you will find some wiki people in your area. Having said that, I have recieved loads of advice and support from wiki people from anywhere uk. I don't think it really matters unless you're looking for someone to have a chat face to face.

I haven't got any family here, either. I've got some good friends, but find it difficult to talk about my divorce when I see them. I feel much more comfortable talking about divorce with these wiki people as most of them know exactly what I'm going through.

I'm off to court next tuesday. I'm so scared . But I know I'll manage - these wiki people will be there for me.

Miko

Angeldust

I am sorry to hear of your plight; you must be feeling very alone.

You say that you have no friends or family - undoubtedly, you will find lots of help and support on this site as there are some very good, kind and knowledgeable people here. But we are all a bit remote and there is no substitute for real flesh and blood friends.

Therefore, I think you need to take steps to generate some friends. But, unless you want to live the life of a hermit, you have to do something to get you out into the world.

I see that you have a young son; I am sure that his school or its parents association would appreciate offers of help from you. So might the local hospital.

What about evening classes or clubs? They can be a good place to meet people, some of whom might be ghastly but there may be others whom you might like and who might like you.

And so on.

It is very much up to you whether or not you make the effort. You won't feel like it at the moment as your I expect morale and confidence is a rock bottom.


But, as I wrote in another posting yesterday, the longest journey starts with the first step - you have to take that first step.

How stupid am I????????
I caved in and took him back yet again....i tried so hard to make it work and yesterday as I was packing for us to go away for the weekend said he was unhappy and didn't know what he wanted! So, yet again I didn't cause a fuss, I sorted his things out and I went for a walk. when i got back he had gone, AGAIN!!!!
Why am I so weak, I knew deep down he was never going to stay but I made vows and i wanted to keep them. So, I unpacked my suitcase, dropped my 12yr old off to scout sleepover with my eyes red, puffy and streaming with tears. I have to find the strength to stay strong and get him out of my life because he's leaving me to go to his other woman then I have him back and the circle starts all over again. I need help but feel so abandoned yet again, all I can see is loneliness and sadness for years to come. I also have a hospital appointment on Weds as I found a lump and so I feel he's left me at a time when I really needed him. He knows how frightened I am. Thanks for reading this rambling post and any replies would be welcome.