Can he ask me to leave?

SilverFir, I don't know if you are still lurking.

I think you got the correct answer fairly early on. He can't boot you out without a Court Order, and as things stand, he would find such an order difficult to come by.

I found myself in similar circumstances to you a couple of years ago and I feel for you both.

It will be hard on him, as it was on me, but it might be more practical for you both to stay in the same house until more permanent arrangements can be made.

This will require alot of compassion from you if you don't want it to be really awful for him. It means not talkking about new man and not flaunting your new relationship. Indeed if at all possible you should avoid seeing new man if your husband will be aware of it.

SilverFir wrote:

I was merely seeking sensible advice on the practical aspects of it. However I shall now go and find this elsewher

The most sensible and practical advice is here on wiki! FACT.

And regardless of why you've decided the marriage is over; wiki is useful for understanding the route, costs and financial information of divorcing and splitting assets; information which can now come in handy for you, and save you a lot of money.

If you'd like an idea of how your pot might be split; you could start a new thread with answers to the following questions:

Your respective ages;

The number of children you have and their ages;

How many nights the children spend with each parent;

The length of your marriage and any period of pre marriage cohabitation;

Your respective incomes;

Your respective outgoings;

Your assets - both soley held and joint;

Your liabilities.

Wikis Divorce Lawyer, Mediator and learned wiki-users can shed much free advice; which has saved many users many thousands on legal fees.

Some users have also been the instigators of divorce, and some have posted similarly to yourself, then added reasons for leaving (such as Domestic Abuse etc). Whatever reasons you have decided your marriage over, I hope you and your ex can find resolution in the quickest, easiest and kindest way.

Perhaps if you're using another site, you send the ex here and we'll take care of his emotional needs.

Sera
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Thanks Sera.

Hi Silver,

Well done for staying with us.

To the wiki members ....

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Amanda

Mods comment: inappropriate comment removed

Amanda, you are correct in your approach. But your comments are hurtful to many of us and you know why.

People who commit adultery or practice abuse need our support but also should be informed of how hard it is on their ex-partners and what they can do to help ease that pain, which btw is in their own best interest if they hope to achieve a divorce, financial settlement and custody arrangements with any measure of amicability.

If you want to become the moral conscience of wikidivorce and delete people's comments then by all means do so. But don't start by telling us our perspectives are not helpful lest those of us on this site who have been the sad side of adultery simply stop offering support unless it is clear that the person seeking answers meets our moral values.

It cuts both ways.

But I do know the point you are trying to make. SilverFir seemed upset that a moral judgement was being made and we should all take a step back before we get too judgemental about people new to the site.

DivorceLawyer wrote:

If a marriage was good, adultery would not occur.

That's the best kcik in the teeth I've had in a long time.

I'm sitting here crying. Two ex husbands, both getting loads of comfort, support and plenty of sex, and both lying cheating adulters.

Thanks Amanda.