Can he ask me to leave?

Urgent advice required.

I told my OH on Saturday morning that I wanted to end the marriage and that I had found somebody else, and this obviously came as a shock to him.

He has been away for 3 days now, and has just sent me an email ultimatum that I must leave the house in 48 hours.

The house is in both our names, as is the mortgage; there is obviously a good deal of shared property.

Whilst I understand he is hurting and lashing out, does he have any power to enforce this?

Cheers

Hi welcome to wiki

No he does not have the power to evict you from the house.

But I expect he feels that you have decided that you no longer what the relationship and have found one with another man.
Is the other man not able to give you a home?? so that you can live the life you wish to with him?

I can understand the hurt your husband is going through and I would not want my other half in the house with me if he had decided that he wanted to be with someone else. I would expect him to go, and enjoy his new life and not make me live through some of the experiences I have read on here from other people in your husband's position.

You have decided that you want someone else and another life,
why would you want to stay in the house anyway?

zara

I understand that this is an emotive issue.

I am unable to leave the geographic area immediately as I have to work a notice period at my job. My new partner is not local

But thanks for your reply.

i had a similar experience to your husband's when my now ex wanted to stay until convenient to him to move , i asked him to go and when it was clear i was being emotional he did. it sounds as if your husband is very distressed , you have someone else and you are making the choice. at least give him the time and space to grieve in peace with dignity perhaps.

Hi SF,

Your husband is obviously hurt and emotional by your announcement just days ago. You don't say the length of your marriage; but three days is raw stages. Three years might still be raw for him. He will now suffer several levels of grief (like bereavement) and you should understand this is not going to make any transition easy.

You may have plotted, schemed and planned a new life many months ago with your new partner. You may have been bored, fed-up, and believed that there was something-better-out-there for a while. But to your ex this is all new, and many wiki users have been on the discarded end of divorce and understand the shock, disbelief and gut-wrenching pain of those first early days.

If you want to know what legally happens to the marital home, have a read of my fixed thread here:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...he-Marital-Home.html

Your ex does have a right to be there. He does not have the right to oust you without a Court Order. (Occupation Order explained in that link). But morally, I personally think that if YOU wanted out of the marriage; then YOU and your new man should've sorted that with the plans.

Silverfir.
I agree with the other posters, you should have considered this when you confessed to him. The grief and despair he will be going through just now will have a thorough effect of his health, it does on most people, this has been a slow and planned process for you, he has got to start going through the processes now, his life has just fallen apart and he is like a rabbit in headlights. You must understand this and do not retaliate towards him, who knows what you may psh him to do.
You need to respect his health and state of mind and you need to vacate the house for him to return. No he cannot force you out, but you have made the plans, the fact you have not found somewhere to live for the short time you are in notice is down to you. I would look at maybe sharing with a friend, B&B or similar.
After all this you would be best staying amicable, otherwise you will cause a lot of hurt and loose a lot of money.

Thanks for your responses, but I think I shall duck back out of this forum.

I am fully aware of the hurt and upset I have caused, and the shock my OH must be going through.

I was merely seeking sensible advice on the practical aspects of it. However I shall now go and find this elsewhere.

I wish you all well.