Absolutely devastated :-(

Hi

I'm new to this site, found it googling in tears earlier today.

I've been living with my partner for 6 years, he was married when I met him but after him chasing me for ages I gave in and began a fun relationship with him. This became strong and he eventually left a wife of 20 years to be with me. He had a history of other women, said this was because his marriage wasn't quite right and that I was the woman he'd been looking for.

Things haven't been great last few months and yesterday I arrived home from work to find his bags packed and in the car ready, while he told me he had been having a relationship with a colleague at work who is 16 years younger than me and 20 years younger than him. I'm mortified. She was a mutual friend too and knew what we'd been through together.

I don't know where to turn, I feel so so hurt and upset. He moved straight in with her last night. Looking for some support I suppose. thanx

Hi snowdrops

Firstly I am sorry to hear your situation. It is not nice to be cheated on and left. Unfortunately there are lots of people on this site (myself included) that this has happened to.

I do not feel it is appropriate for me to judge your situation, but there may be some you will think 'what goes around comes around'. He left a wife of 20 years for you. She probably felt mortified at the time, and now he has left you for someone else.

I have found that the best way of getting over the pain is to do new things, I caught up with old friends, joined a local social group and generally tried to keep busy and then time does heal

S

A kindly DBNO hands snowdrops a hard hat and a flack jacket

"These may come in handy"

Yes I know the goes around comes around thing is obvious, I've thought it myself. I just genuinely believed at the time he wasn't happy.

They work together 40 hours a week and now live together too, I suppose deep down I'm hoping cracks may appear after a while, tho maybe it'll work the other way. She's a pcso and he's her police constable boss, he had a very brief fling with a 23 yr old about 3 years ago too.

Hi Snowdrops. Its the oldest line in the book. And I am sorry that you fell for it. I know you are hurt and what he did was awful but expected. There is an old saying. Never marry yr mistress as you leave a vacency. He wasnt yr mistress but U get the idea. He is a serial cheat and you got sucked in. I had the same kind of thing. My ex sucked me in. Bled me dry for years and years and then when she found someone better spat me out.

But the real issue is why you was fooled in the 1st place? He is doing to you what he did to his last conquest. But these serial cheats and con people are realy good. They know the exact right things to say and do to win you over. Then when they have got what they want they move on. Sorry. C

Showdrops,

I would say just be thankful that you are no longer with him.
I am sure that it never entered your head when (he chased you and left his wife) that he would ever do this to you, but he has.

I dont think it is particularly 'what goes round comes round' it is more of a leopard never changes its spots.

He will no doubt move onto another victim when he gets fed up with the latest conquest. He is a wandere, a womaniser and you fell for his charm and thought that his marriage was on the rocks, so he told you.

It took a long time for him to realise that though (20 years)!!

Just think of it as a lucky escape for yourself, another conquest for him, and a devasted life for his wife.

My motto, IF they can do it with you, they can do it to you.

Steer clear of married men.

You will get over it, it will take time.

zara

Oh dear re hard hat and flac jacket I was just trying to be honest