HAVE A LAUGH

Cearal, lmao at the parrot joke, been trying to remember that one for years!!!
Here's one for you.

Woman walks past a pet shop and looks at the notices, Does a double take at one.

"Free - Clitorus Licking Frog"

Ask for details inside."

She opens the door and walks in, she sees a good looking man behind the counter and enquires about the frog.

He smiles and gestures towards the back of the shop,

"Oui, Yeez off corrse madame, Pleeese come dis way"!!

A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Newcastle "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous to some and none of us realize the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."

Dan married one of a pair of identical twins. Less than a year later he was in court filing for a divorce.
"Tell the court why you want a divorce," the judge said.
"Well, Your Honor," Dan started, "every once in a while my sister-in-law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are identical, sometimes I'd end up making love to her by mistake."
"Surely there must be some difference between the two women," the judge said.
"Exactly, Your Honor. That's why I want the divorce!"

Stumbled across this quote ......

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Honore de Balzac


What are they saying?1?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
Who is she anyway Honore de Balzac?

Not gonna be popular for this one but here goes

Statistics show, women think they are smarter than men cos they can succesfully fake orgasms. Men say, big f*ckin deal, try faking a relaitionship just for a sh*g.

Just kiddin girls, love ya really

M x

Matt,
Are you having a bad day?????? Read your posts, are you joking or are you feeling a bit cross about something.

Im ok today Zara, got my litle man here and feeling ..........Stable lol. That joke was sent to me by a female btw!

Take care

M x