never thought Iwould be on wikivorce

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I was so happy with my husband for 13 years.He was the nicest person I ever met . He treated me so well...He was kind ,loving,smart: the list is long...
The last time I saw him we were making plans for the week end.He kissed me good bye before going to work.
I never saw him again.
He did contact me 7 days later leaving a mesg on my mob phone.
He sounded cold and detached when he informed me that he was not coming back home.

I also received a letter from him asking me for a divorce .This was just after 10 days..


Needless to say that the shock was too much for me to bear. This happened 5 months ago.

I have always been a strong person but this

made me weak for a while. Every aspects of my life has been affected.
I ask myself the question over and over again:why did this happen to me?I don't think I will have an answer.

Oh Roxie, that must have been a horrible shock for you.

You may never know the reason why he did what he did in the way he did, there was obviously something or someone that he didn't tell you about but now is the time to start looking after you.

You are in the right place here, alot of us had divorces come out of the blue to some extent so you aren't alone.

xx

Hi Roxie

That is an awful way of him to do it, I really feel for you. You will find out by reading on here that lots of people have had zero communication from their tbxs prior to them leaving, as to their reasons for the break up. You'll also hear people have been given lots of silly reasons too. It's mostly because the one who leaves has spent time planning it and coming to their decision before they end it. Yet the ones who are left have been excluded from that part. It's terrible that the decision to enter into the relationship is a mutual one, yet at the other end it becomes a singular one for some.

You are in the right place here and will get lots of empathy from us as we are in all in a similar boat. I hope you find this site as supportive as we have.

Take care
NGirly

That feeling of despair, wrecks your life for a time, I am 7 nearly 8 months on and I still have involuntary tears out of the blue but at other times can feel ok and live each day as it comes, but after a high there is always a big low, so I try to remain calm. I was a wreck but not infront of my 12 year old son. He wants a divorce wants me to sell the house as if that is going to solve all his mid life crisis. I went away alot in the summer with my sons hobby but that was burying my head in the sand but it helped, as the people on wiki say time does heal and the pain is not so raw now. Find this site calming even if I just read the posts. Hope your pain softens but let it come out cry and don't bottle up your feelings rant to people here some have some very soothing and wise words to share. its hard but try to eat something as the weight drops off!!sleep when you can and its not your fault remember that.xx

Good evening ThrowingMuse
Thanks for your response.I find it all strange to be on this site primarily because I have never done anything like this before since I never felt the need but more to the point my computer skills are ....not good...
That said so many things in my life have changed that I am ready to try things that might help me in what I could only describe "a leaving nightmare".
I think that this has never happened to anybody;in fact I would not believe it possible if I had not experienced it myself.
However I see that a lot of people have had unbelievable experiences that are as painful as mine.In a way I feel sad and guilty that I find some comfort in that.

Hi Roxie

My split from x came out of the blue and it takes some time to get over the shock.We had been together for over 20 years. You can beat yourself up asking what is it about you that made this happen. I came to realise that this was nothing to do with me it was all about him. It's amazing how many people get to a stage in their life where something happens to make them think that what they have is not what they want (some call it a mid-life crisis). You may get some answers eventually but you may not.

Hard as it may seem now you need to live in the here and now and look to the future. You need to grieve for what you have lost and we each get through the process at different rates. I found it really helped to keep busy and fill my time with new interests, but you still need time to reflect and talk things through.

I feel that I was and still am a strong person but the split took me months to get over the initial shock and then even more time to come to terms with what had happened. But gradually things got easier and more hopeful. The year after he moved out I met my now husband and although we have had are ups and downs things are definately better second time around.

Look after yourself and you will be strong again, just give yourself time

Janey

Rosie

Don't feel sad and guilty - this site is about helping people. I joined because my husband left me and people on here helped so much. I've been lucky enough to meet many of them, but some were just there for me when I needed them.

Now I am able to be there for others - we all help eachother.

Divorce is horrible - but some good comes out of it. I have become a stronger person.

I had never been in a chat room before I joined Wiki; I'd never gone to a social event where I knew no one in advance - but I am doing a lot of new things now!

A year on, I am much happier. I hope you will feel like that too one day.

nell