never thought Iwould be on wikivorce

Hi Roxie

Guilty wht guilty, but you are going to experience emotions you never thought possible. Its a horrible place to be in particularly when it is so raw. I like you had never even looked at any forums on the net so it was a form of self help, it takes alot of courage to register so well done for that. Hope you get some comfort reading different posts, I have as you can't imagine anyone else could ever feel as bad as you do, but they do and I don't understand why that is a comfort but it is and that must be the same for most of us or the site wouldn't exist, the sad thing is it is true the one that does the leaving has left before they actually do so are in such a different place from the one that is left, they say we need to catch them up but I think its a slow process for many of us, you will get stronger you will get better and you will carry on and do things you wouldn't have done if you were together, take my word I've done it.

take care
breath deeply
GrowingRosex

Good evening NGirly
Thanks for your comments ...They make sense .
I simply can't understand that your "soul mate" can act in such a manner.
I would have liked the break up to have reflected our marriage,or what I thought our marriage was : good ,honest etc...but that was not to be. I do hope that this site will bring me some comfort.
Roxie

Roxie

(((hugs)))

Your husband told you in a cowardly way.

My husband only told me about his affair (we'd agreed to separate) because I wormed it out of him. We had been having civilised conversations as I thought we were both equally sad our marriage had ended. But in fact he'd got someone else already and hadn't had the decency or guts after 31 years together to tell me.

When I asked him why he hadn't told me he'd met someone else he said "I didn't know how you'd react". I thought that if he didn't know that after living with me for so long, he clearly wasn't the man I thouht he was.

Since then he has become quite pathetic in my eyes - and really sadly - in the eyes of our teenage sons.

Such a shame. But I stopped worrying about him and what he said and did, and concentrate on what I say and do instead.

Good evening growingrose
Thanks for taking the time to write to me.
It is true that I am experiencing emotions that I am even ashamed of...I don't think that there is a person in this world that has gone through what I have during the past 5 months.

Unfortunately many people have . I am already better than I use to be ;but at what cost ?...It is strange that one can be so blissfully happy not realizing that a disaster is about to come ,inflicted by the person they love and trust the most.Roxie

Good evening NeINoRegrets
Thank you for answering me . I am sorry about what happened to you after 31 years of being with someone . Franckly words fail me ....
I refer to my estranged husband now(when I talk to my beloved and very supporting friends) as "the coward". I think that says it all...
I have not asked him for any explanation since that fatal day as He did not gave me any.Besides I think it is almost pointless.
Nevertheless I do believe that one day I will know why he did what he did .

I am ashamed of him.I don't worry about him as he is not the man I married. I would like to think that he lost his mind during a mid life crisis...Judging by what he has been doing it appears to me that he is very much in control. Not for long...
Roxie

Good evening Janeyg

I appreciate your comments despite the fact that they make me sad . Mainly due to what you have been going through but of course also because I can see a lot of things in what you write that I can relate to.
I think that thus far I have done my upmost to get myself better after my life as it was was shattered because of the actions of one human being: my husband.
It is good to know that sometimes there is a happy ending... but so difficult to thing that I can be part of it...
Roxie

hello roxie,I never thought i would be on wikki either,my life was going along fine until wife said one eve "i am going to live in a big house in the country with a doctor or someone respectable because you are an embarrassment to me and i am going to destroy you and make you suffer every day for the rest of your life".
I thought it was a joke at first but the next day i got a letter from her solicitor, that was a year ago and i have gone through a lot of emotions and court cases since then trying to continue my close relationship with my daughters.i can relate to your comment about being ashamed of your ex and him being a coward.i feel much better now and realise i am much better off without her.try not to lose your kind caring ways.
all the best, daleray.