Should I or shouldn't I?

Hello,
I am in a similar position to you, although I am moving along in my journey. Thinking and thinking and thinking... leads me to... If you have a problem, you can either live with it, or try to change it. You could tell your wife how you feel and open a dialogue, why not? You are entitled. Or you may start imaging making the break, yes there are bad parts, but if you start to feel that the sum of the parts are more good than bad, well, you have your asnwer. try Relate, they are very good in allowing you to guide yourself through the pathway. you can go on your own, you dont need your partner.
I am going to leave next year when our daughter has completed her finals at Uni. I wish you luck and strength to make the right decision for you. We only have one life, and living with a partner we are not happy with, cant make them happy either.

Do you want to fix your marriage or end it? If you want to fix it you will have to find a way of communicating with your wife. If you can't talk without arguing, have you thought of trying counselling or mediation?

If you end your marriage, you will have to sort out childcare and finances as well as the paperwork of a divorce.

Neither of these two options is easy - but nor is the third which is to carry on as you are at the moment.

Why don't you have any hobbies? If you are going to stay put - and if you aren't - you need to rebuild a life for yourself.

If you are unhappy, then your wife is unhappy, which will make your children unhappy.

It does seem to me that you are an excellent father and in many ways partner in that you are a good worker and also help alot in the house.

Maybe your wife has post natal depression? Two young children take alot of work. You say she watches TV, but she must look after the children when you are out at work.

I would suggest marriage guidance and commend you on not looking for another partner as it seems many men/women in unhappy marriages do to make their leaving their marriage easier for them.

Just think of what you would potentially lose: regular contact with your children, a huge loss in standard of living and of course your wife.

But, at the end of the day, we are all put on earth to give and not to live a miserable life.

You can still be an excellent father living away from the family.

I stayed in a miserable marriage for years. My X cheated on me shortly after our marriage and birth of our first daughter. I forgave him, but the marriage was really difficult. I stayed a further 18 years and really now in hindsight, I should have left.

How about suggesting a meal out, just the two of you to discuss things.

Jo x

Jo
There are always two sides ... always.
By his tone, I know whose side I would like to hear now.

Lucretia

You did make me laugh!

Although i do agree with you, I have had enough abuse chucked on me on this site when I give my opinion (and thats all it is, My Opinion) because I am so brash and to the point, that I do try now to be a bit more, what could you say, understanding, lol.

Jo x

JoannaA wrote:

Lucretia

You did make me laugh!

Although i do agree with you, I have had enough abuse chucked on me on this site when I give my opinion (and thats all it is, My Opinion) because I am so brash and to the point, that I do try now to be a bit more, what could you say, understanding, lol.

Jo x

LOL Jo...

I am the same and I have to say that I have had to bite my tongue in this thread!xxx

I'll give you the facts.
Think you're hard done by now.Get divorced when you're working sixty hour weeks and she looks after her horsesthis is your future.
She'll keep the kids.
She'll get about 70/80% of the house equity.
Youy'll get the a few bin bags for your gear and be back at digs at best if not your parents or on a mates coach.
you won't get to see your kids grow up on a daily basis.
That's how it'll be but as you'll be the one paying the bill it's your decision.
But be prepared that you'll have a mountain of financial hardship to surmount if you do decide to divorce in your situation.She'll nigh on bag the lot.
At the end o the day it's your decision but it'll cost you big in the pocket.
All the best
Pete