When will it end!

I met my new partner after he had seperated from his wife. He has been living apart from her for almost 2 years and on the whole the split was amicable. He gets access to the kids when he wants and he pays her the same money towards the bills etc as he did when he lived there.

The problem is that now we would like to make a life for ourselves which means him kick starting the divorce process. So far this has caused nothing but greif as she has rejected the 'unreasonable behaviour' claim and wants to file it as 'adultery'!!!! He then spoke to her and said that he did not commit adultery but she said because he now has a girlfriend and they are still legally married that she can still file it as adultery! He then asked if she had any relationships and she said 'yes' so his answer was to file it as adultery towards her! It all seems stupid to me and more to the point - a pointless waste of time.

I am finding it increasingly frustrating now that he wants to actually start divorce proceedings that she has absolutely no interest in getting anything financially sorted and has tried various stalling tactics. I dont know why as my partner has been more than willing to settle in her favour, I hate to say it but it seems like laziness. Her life has been uneffected finacially so maybe she doesn't see the same need to do anything about it?

I just can not see the end at the moment. Please tell me that there is some way that can get things moving?

It can take aprox 18 months to complete the process: (Divorce and Ancillary Relief matters) and that's when the parties cooperate with the system.

Best stay here and find ways of obtaining a thick skin; and finding coping strategies and stress relief:

Hopefully; Zara can add to this.........

Sera
x

Jesus.

Well thanks for the reply so quick as well! Another 2 years a? hmmm. Looks like I will just have to grow a second layer of skin like you say.

i really could cry.

Hi boredstiff. Why should she divorce and settle things? She has the penny and the bun. This is exactly why I say that you should strike while the iron is hot. Get it out of the way as soon as poss.

I think you both need to take a step back and look at what you want. It doesnt matter what the reasons are. Adultary is a little box thats ticked and you dont have to name the other party. Its easy peasy. No one but you will ever know and what does it matter? If she wants to be nasty then she will name you. That means that you have to be served as well. So what? Just sign and return the papers and in 3 months give or take they are divorced. End off.

But she is correct. He has commited adultary. He is still married and so on. But at the end of the day it dont matter.

On the finacials side yr Bf can start proceedings. He can apply for ancilory relief. It doesnt have to be the divorce pettioner. The respondant can ask for it as well.

Essentialy ancilory releif sets out a timetable and finacials are sorted by orders of the court. You have to stick by them no matter what they are. But its negotiated. Its also binding. Failure to do so will find the ofending party in hot water. The divorce has got nothing to do with ancilory relief but you must be divorcing or divorced to apply for it. C

This is great info! I love you people. Funnily enough I have just found out that she has put a proposal to him. She has proposed that she gets:
half his salary
all of the equity in the house
half of his pension
all school fee's paid by him (3 kids go private school)
all of the holidays, kids clubs, clothes, etc are paid by him.

Is there any way in hell that a judge would award this? I am trying not to be bias but this just seems off the scale of unfairness. She has a job that pays extremely well that she doesn from home just in case you might think that she doesn't earn anything...

DO NOT AGREE TO ADULTERY YOU WILL BE LIABLE FOR HER COSTS AS WELL AS YOUR OWN!!!

Re Her Demands
WELCOME TO A MAN'S DIVORCE EXPERIENCE!!!!
She'll prolly get most of that as well!!!
All the best
Pete xx
p.s. Sounds nice and amicable!Amicable to a woman in divorce proceedings means you give me everything!!!