Tracking your wife's car and text messages

markg3010:
Thank you for your support, you understand me very well and everything you say I agree with 100%, a very well written reply!
A lot of it as you say is finding the answers and being happy with the answers good or bad. Having these answers I can progress and therefor end my relationship.

rasher:
Yes, at first I wanted to know if I could use the evidence which I collected and to know if it is against the law to do so, now I know that it can be. However, I do not feel one bit guilty in using these methods as I'm sure she is not feeling one bit bad about seeing another man despite what people say on this forum I feel much better that I know the truth rather than presuming what might be an affair.
Luckily she hasn't got a very strong character but if I confront her with facts rather than presumptions (as a lot of people on this forum seem to think it's the way... I don't) then she will not be able to come up with a story on the spot and will cave in and admit to what she has done.

Sera:
You quoted "I think your behaviour is immoral & paranoid"
Well, how about someone cheeting that is immoral behaviour! So sorry, I don't feel bad one bit in what I'm doing.
You are right however, I cannot use the evidence in court.


I agree with everyone, the sooner this is over with the better and I will be ending it soon, I just need to work on a few more areas like slowly breaking it to my family so they get used to the idea that I might split up with my wife, include them in my problems and discuss this with them also asking them for guidence, makes them part of my problem so that when it does happen it won't be a bomb shell to them.... a mistake I did last time.

Once again, thanks for the replies... keep em coming as with each reply I see help.

All the best,

GD

GD

I am never one to give up on something early, but it sounds as though the love has long gone here.

That being the case, I would pop down to the solicitor and get a divorce petition drawn up on the grounds of wife's unreasonable behaviour (you have provided some fine examples), and get the show on the road.

Nobody is getting any younger.

Hi Green Door

I know you are also desperate to know WHY (if she is having an affair) - sad thing is that some of us never get the proper reasons.

We get excuses, blame, lies and rationalisations - you may get them all. But will you believe them? Agree with them? Probably not.

She may never ADMIT to an affair, she may NEVER give you a valid reason.

You won't get the peace of mind I think you are looking for because once you KNOW (what she tells you) the pain and hurt does not go away.

I know that you have a need to know and I agree you should ask her and maybe find out through other means. But it wont change whats going to happen as you have already admitted that you dont trust her, dont believe in your marriage etc.

Even if she is not having an affair now, will you always feel like this about her? And you have admitted that this is no way to live.

I hope you get some peace of mind.

My ex was more concerned about what everyone else thought through our break up and this just prolonged the animosity while he tried to tell all and sundry why he was actually in the right to have an affair. In the end I did not care - just wanted to move on but he was consumed with doing a pr job on himself and made himself ill worrying more about his image than just getting on with his life. Don't let it consume you, you have enough to get through hun.

Hi all,

I'm in a similiar situation we're getting divorced (eventually when we sell the house!) after 25years, but my stbx was doing exactly as many people have said, taking more care of his appearance, putting in a pin code into his mobile, although I did come across his phone which was still on and there were many messages from a woman in very explicit terms and it was fairly obvious what had been going on. This isn't the first time he has behaved this way but I think this time it's serious. He has now set up another address in London and I think he is having some of his mail sent there.

It's very hard at times as when we talk its all very friendly but I haven't confronted him about the above as all I have are text messages, it does eat you up and I sometimes spend ages trying to locate stuff about him on the internet, today it has been worst as I found out about his texts etc.

I just want to get on with my life but at the moment there is so much going on that I can't think straight as the stbx was my best friend and we had so much in common but now I can't stand the site of him (especially when he is listening to soppy music on ipod!!)

Sorry to rant on but it's been a bad day.