Tracking your wife's car and text messages

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post.

I suspect very strongly that my wife is cheating on me & I intend to track her text messages and her car.

I would like to find out what the legal position is if I wanted to install software on my wife's mobile phone which would record every text message and who she called.

I also intend to install a GPS tracking device in her car which would record where she has been, which then later can be downloaded and onto a computer and displayed as a map.

These two systems are far cheaper than a private detective.

My questions are:

1) Is it legal to monitor your wife in this way?
2) Can this the evidence be used against her officially?
3) How does my surveillance differ from a private detective when it comes to evidence?

Regards,

Green Door

Mmmm...this is an interesting question. If you don't mind me asking, why are you going to these lengths to get evidence? It will have no bearing when you file for divorce,even if you file for divorce because of adultery, you have to be able to prove they've had sex.

I know you probably need to know for sure so that you can confront her. I feel for you, I really do. It's an awful situation to be in. But, it won't be taken into account when it comes to a financial settlement. Good luck

Having found out by accident that my wife was cheating on me, and having gone through the pain of finding out about her affair. I would advise you not to go to these lengths.

If you think she is having an affair why not start by talking to her? Try to find out if there is anything wrong with your marriage and either work to put it right or agree to separate and divorce.

As Fluffy has pointed out, to divorce on the grounds of adultery is very hard to do as you must prove they had sex. Clandestine meetings and text messages do not prove adultery.

All the best

Steve

Hi Green Door

I agree with fluffy... it won't count as evidence in a divorce, to prove adultery you have to evidence the act of sex. It may prove she's having an affair but you can't offer an affair as grounds for divorce - that is covered by UB and inappropriate relationship.

Having said that - I can understand your motivation - the not knowing is what drives us nuts. I went to some enormous lengths to try to find out what my ex was up to. It didin't help my peace of mind one bit... turned me into some neurotic person because my focus was there daily.

If you want to prove she is having an affair in order for you to come to a decision about your marriage - then I'm right with you. As for the rest, don't let it swallow you up.

As for the legal questions you asked about installing software etc. I don't know I'm afraid - but someone will know, I'm sure.

Welcome to wiki

Shezi

Surely talking to her would be a better option? If your suspicions are unfounded imagine the hurt she will feel if she finds out, if they are founded, what is to be gained by having 'evidence'

hi greendoor

welcome to wiki.....

from a legal perspective i have no idea if what you are intending to do is legal or not but as shezi said someone here will know..

having read your blog it hit a cord with me....i too suspected my husband was having an affair (yes he was it turns out)

i didnt do what you are intending but i did read txt mesgs on his phone.....late at night when he was in bed asleep i would creep downstairs to check it....when he was in the shower i would check it standing at the bottom of the stairs listening to him in the shower and me checking his phone...god my heart used to beat 1000's !!!

i was dreading him knowing that i was checking for proof...

its a horrible horrible situation to be in and its heartbreaking......

others have said the only way an affair would stand in court is to actually have evidence of the act itself so putting yourself through this is only going to eat you up...believe me ive been there and so have alot of the others here..

my belief is you need to talk to her...if she will talk...its not going to be easy granted, probably the hardest conversation you will ever have, but, think of yourself in this.....be calm when asking even write things down if it helps....

but talk is my best advice....its probably not what you want to hear and im sorry but you have to try and make this as easy on yourself as possible..?

take care GD

Daisy
x

Thank you all for replying, it's good to know support is out there

A little bit more about me:

My wife has been a bad girl before (I found out through friends) and we talked about it and I forgave her and hoped that life would go on as normal and that she was truly sorry for what she had done.

I have spoken to her about our marriage and she says there is nothing wrong with it, so it beats me why she is doing it again.

I've made my mind up now and I want a divorce, there is going o be no more "sorry I was stupid" not the second time around.
I want out because I can't live with a person who is completely dishonest.

All I want to do is convince myself with whatever evidence I can get that she is having an affair and going for adultery would be nice but as you all say why bother as a divorce is a divorce and the cheaper for me the better.

She deletes all her texts but her mobile bills are all of a sudden are more than average.

I thought an affair goes under "unreasonable behaviour" surely?

And what if she admitted to having an affair with this guy i.e. we had a chat and she said "yes, I am seeing someone else", would that class as adultery?

We have no kids, only a house which has gone down in value.

Thanks once again and I'll keep you all posted.

Gren Door