HAVE A LAUGH

Next Time, Let's Stay in a Hotel
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground."
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim cries.
"He says you're gonna die."

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!"
The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?"
The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence."
The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"

The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.

There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"

The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."

To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"

Women are like a hurricane, when you meet one they're wet and wild, when they leave you, you've lost your house and car!


Matt x

matthew !!!!!!!!!!!!!

shame on you..


guys where do you get all these jokes from ???

daisy
xxx

Women are like a mortage...........once you got one, your f*cked for life.

M x

Ok Guys n girls......how about this.

Next time your feeling down why not......

Watch ya wedding video useing {search} rewind!

That way you get to see yaself giving his/her ring back, doing one back up the aisle, getting back in the car.......and f*cking off back down the road at double speed.........

Worked for me lol.

Matt x

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.
Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times."

Saffy