I suspect that between us, Peter (if he doesn't mind!) and I can answer a fair few questions. I have experience of Forces pensions in divorce.
Although it is confusing, and clearly there are several confused people out there, the rules on Forces pensions are clear enough.
Let me try making a few basic points, if those help as a start, I'll try to field any additional points if we can line them up in a manageable order! And maybe create some sort of useful reference item out of it.
To avoid twisting myself in linguistic knots, I will write as if Forces members are all male: the rules apply equally well however to a husband married to a woman serving in the Forces.
So, my first few basic points about Forces pensions: (also relevant to a few other "Government" employees such as Police)
1. ALL Pensions are subject to very specific rules, but Forces pensions have special treatment on top of the normal pensions rules.
2. Forces members have exemption from normal pension rules to allow them to take their pensions earlier than most, on retirement from service (which is earlier than normal pension age).
3. You can't
pension share just by agreeing it: you need a
pension sharing order as part of a divorce (although you can have an agreed, consent, pension sharing order). The law doesn't allow pension sharing except as part of a divorce, for tax reasons. (This applies to all pensions, not just Forces)
4. Because a wife taking a pension sharing order is not a member of the Forces to whom those special rules apply, they cannot take the pension early just because their hsuband can. They had to wait until their normal pension age, currently 65. This isn't discriminating against Forces wives, its just that everyone is subject to the normal pensions rule and Forces members have an exemption.
5. The new provisions referred to by Maggie, above, may allow some scope for departure from the old rules by enabling someone to draw from their pension share earlier than 65 BUT BE CAREFUL: anyone taking the pension early will get much, much less per year than they would get if they took the pension at 65. If you split a Forces pension in half, the wife's half will generate a much lower pension than the husband's, because the rules apply differently. To work out how to split the pension to give the wife equal income at 55 would require an actuary, like Peter. But the division would have to be so much in favour of the wife proportionately that I doubt it will happen except in very extreme cases.
6. Don't confuse Terminal Gratuity, the payment of approximately 3x salary that Forces members get at the end of service, with Pension or commutation of pension.
The Terminal Gratuity is basically a resettlement grant, money to help the soldier (or sailor or airman)get back into civil life. This is NOT pension. It is NOT part of a pension sharing order.
A serviceman can opt to take all their pension as pension, or COMMUTE part to get a lump sum but with a lower income.
Does this help at all?