On the verge

Today will be difficult but you will get through it. Could you turn your phone off or put it on silent and direct all calls to voicemail? She's hurt and angry so is lashing out and going from pleading to angry shouting, I think that's normal...I wish I could have shouted at my ex when he left last Saturday. |Is there any way you can contact your Son to see how he is? You will be ok, you just have to go through all the emotions first. x

Just be patient and try not to respond to what she says to you. If you really feel as you feel she will have to accept it eventually, but for the one that has been left it always takes longer to get to that point.

Seems the ones that are making the decision make it a long time before telling their partners, tell them and expect them to accept it straight away, she will be upset, angry and feel out of control as the decision has been taken out of her hands.

Been on the flipside of this coin thats the only advice ic an give, be patient and try not to react.

Would you say its better then to keep my distance and only have contact if absolutely neccesary and not answer her calls?

I understand what you are saying about her not wanting to accept it but i want to try and reinforce that it has happened and don't want to change my mind.

Thanks

i tried calling home but the stbx answered and the blackmail started. i have txted him to try and get him to go on msn so i can make sure hes ok.
i cant go home right now and need to stay strong and firm.

The only respect I have for my stbx is that he hasn't messed me about emotionally, he said he was going and stuck to his guns, he never made me feel like he was going to change his mind (altho of course I still hoped he would) never came back giving me false hope as I know a lot do.

This helped me move on quicker and altho it still really hurts I have accepted that altho i didn't want this to happen It is going to anyway and I have to learn to accept and move on.

Stay away if you can, do not reply to emotional/angry texts just reply to direct questions directly, trying to focus on practical things. Do ask about the children you have every right to do this, how old is your son can't you get him a mobile so you don't have to talk through his mother. If she is a good parent she should not stand in your way of talking to your son, although this again could take time. However if he is seeing her emotional he will be confused too.

I agree with catliz...much better to give no hope than false hope. Wish my ex had gone and stayed gone instead of coming and going.

It will be much kinder to her if you just have contact about the important things, children, finances etc and if she gets emotional just stay calm and try to understand she's hurting.

Stay strong but remember for both of you it's very early days.

Sonning, I feel for you mate. You already know a bit of my story and I know exactly what your going through.

It's a hell of a decision you've made, and I only wish I'd have done the same right at the beginning!

I'd say have very little contact with her, let her cool off.

No matter what she says just stick to your guns mate, kick her to the curb! I went through month's and month's of pain trying to talk to my wife and get her to understand she was ripping me to pieces, but it was all a waste of time.

I think once they start going down that route of EA's etc, there's no way back.

You must be tough mate and think about yourself and your future, you dont want to waste anymore of your life in a marriage like that.

Good luck.

Jim.