help to get house back

Hi again,

You need to stay strong in all of this, even if he states that he has a claim on your home, you have only been cohabiting for a few months, he has no rights.

There are a lot of misconceptions about cohabitation, many call it "common law wife/husband" but, there is no such thing in law. If you have to go to court, he would be told he can only take out of the relationship, what he brought in. ie his dirty socks and the rest of his belongings.

I know your worried about affecting his gun licence if you talk to the police but you must make sure you are safe.

Keep to your plan, check your home insurance to make sure your covered and get the legal side of occupation in motion.

Best wishes,

NWTT.

the bit that scares me is that he will try and pull that he gave up the tenancy on his house; he is the one who put the pressure on and I expressed misgivings ata the time about him doing this. I think it was as he had creditors after him. From what I can read it seems that he may claim occupancy rights based on that. that is my fear. He is away on THursday/fri so I will go then and get this started. All of you are so helpful and kind I am lucky have supportive family and friends - still feel so so stupid. At least I can start to get my mental health back once I am out and will hopefully be stronger.

Flyinghorse,

What sort of tenancy did he give up out of interest? Was it a council tenancy or a private tenancy? I am not sure what you have read but I have never heard of this.

Reading some of your earlier recent posts where you describe his behaviour, it strikes me that he may have some mental health or personality issues. Do you know anything of his mental health to date? Alternatively, do you know much about his dating / marriage history? He sounds to me like someone who has gone from pillar to post all his life with various people and other parties chasing him. Have you Googled him yet?

Knowledge is power....and certainly a good indicator of future behaviour.

EA

do you have a written tenancy there is a bit of me that is thinking just pack his stuff up when he is out of the house and leave it outside /in the garage for him and change the locks................i wonder whether there are extenuating circumstances for you to do this as you are fearful of him...............ie will it be harder for him to get back into your house legally
i hope this makes sense

I don''t know about his tenancy. When I met him he said he owned the bungalow and had a mortgage, like most of us. About six months in he said that he wanted to sell it as the mortgage was so big £800 he told me that the estate (it was part of a large farm type estate) wanted to buy it back, that they had been short of money 8 years ago when he moved there and it had come up for sale via a friend of his that manages the estate. He then said they bought it back. He then said that they rented it back to him but this suited him as he wanted to be free to move up and be near me /move in with me. He said this gave him a lump sum of £118,000 that hew would invest and that then later we would get somewhere together if things worked out. He said he believed in living within means, very careful with money, etc etc. now it lookslike never did own the place; is in loads of debt; tries to control through anger, then guilt, then gets ill all the time if I challenge him. He is a liar at the least. he cant have diagnosed m.h. as would not get gun license, I would assess some kind of personality disorder probably. He is very clever , devious and manipulative. I am not sure how dangerous he is or how much is just to big himself up, he has told me stories of what he has done when crossed. He says he protects women and hates men that abuse them. However I have gone from being strong, lively loads of interests to hardly ever going out, he likes to come down at 6 every eve, smoke and watch t.v. he does cook sometimes as he likes that. If we go out I end up paying so I don''t do that now. If I go out,he is in bad mood, etc etc. But having seen his temper on just when I took control of remote and said I wanted to watch something; he ensured I did not win that one and I ended upstairs shaking. When I did stand up to him over a weekend he did not speak to me for two or three days, that was quite nice. I am therefore scared to tell him relationship is over and I want him out he will either play suicidal, anger hostility, guilt trip, tell me its all in my head. Things of mine have started going missing and then turning up ; I need to get away from him and deal with him from a distance.

THe real crunch came when he started to tell me how hard it is to get someone out of your home when they have moved in. I am probably not at my sanest just now, but am working .

i know that you dont want to but i think you should go to the police and tell them about his behaviour especially as he has a gun licence .......
i am sure they have strict secrecy policies and if you are in fear for your safety and what you have described is emotional abuse you need to do something.............i dont know whether you could take a non molestation order out against him you need to do something to protect yourself and maybe others in the future,,,,,,,,lots of love lx