help to get house back

Well now on ten days out of house. He contacted my sol last week to say he wants nothing more than to get out of the area asap. he also said he does not want animosity; sol has advised I do not contact him and I said I really really don''t want to. Just been with my pets for the weekend in their safe house, now back to area where I live work to stay with various friends. Very tiring nomadic lifestyle; whole situation completely weird. Have been warning friends DO NOT let anyone move in your house, without full checks and talking to solicitor; there def seem to be moves to make more rights for co-habs - Personally I will never ever make that choice again. Thanks again for all your support being away is helping my sanity - I think ! Have realised just how dark and abusive the relationship was becoming. I have never worried with anyone in the past about saying I was off out with friends and things. I will learn a lot from this but will be very relieved when he is gone. He is saying he is aiming for 18th May or earlier if he can.

That is really good news flyinghorse,

Thank you so much for letting us know. Wiki is an amazing site for people with relationship problems, it is totally run by volunteers and members.

If you want to help, wiki gets a small amount of government funding but, this is reliant on positive feed back, click the thank you balloon on the right hand side to leave your feedback of your experience on the site.

Very best wishes for a happy future, I am so pleased it has worked out well. Let us know when he has gone and you have your home totally back.

Best wishes,

NWTT.

What a relief.

Roll on the day you get your home back. You wait till you walk through that door and close it behind you. You will be singing and dancing all around the house.

Should you change all the locks? I think so as a safety precaution. Unlikely required, but I know I would sleep sounder in my bed.

Happy for you, best wishes, Nige.

Flying horse,

Thanks for letting us know.

This is good news. Hopefully some short term pain for a big long term gain. Let''s hope he doesn''t leave any nasty surprises when he goes. Do keep tabs on your finances and credit report just in case.

Best wishes,

EA

well just under one week until he should move out. The boiler has broken so he cant have a hot bath, I have tried to get it fixed but unfortunately (not) the parts will take a while to get. He has said he has put in paperwork for "a" property so I am feeling bit pessimistic this is all he has managed in 3 weeks. Am now considering moving back in next Thursday with my elderly - and very annoying parents !! my even more annoying brother and a friend or two . not sure though if this would spoil other routes to get him out. In the meantime I have been talking to someone about some of his behaviours/habits etc. We think he maybe using cocaine/crack. So now back to considering police involvement. THough he is in my house, so don''t know where that would leave me. God this is such a nightmare. Have been staying with various friends and just about keeping work and things together. Getting tired now though. Have e mailed sol today to warn him that his guy will not just leave all nice and sweetly - the solicitor seems to have just believed my ex''s "nice" little e mail saying how he wants to go quickly. Not so sure myself. Though if using Cocaine would explain the debts with nothing to show for them.

Flying horse,

Was wondering only yesterday how things were going for you. Nice to see you back with an update.

Hmmm the crack user diagnosis is interesting, would love to hear where that came from. Debts are usually there for a reason though. Are you sure it is not gambling. He may also have a personality disorder which could explain certain behaviour.

If you do suspect drugs, be very careful he doesn''t plant something in your home and then call the police on you once he has left. That is a classic revenge tactic.

Shame you don''t know anyone with a sniffer dog....

EA

hi thanks, yes could be gambling, but I did see a small pipe in his study/office , metal , he gets flu symptons all the time, either hyper happy or depressed, racking cough he put down to hayfever all summer and flu all winter, does not sleep normal hours, moods change drastically within an hour, stays up each night until about 3.a.m. know that he "used" to do coke, he made it very much in the past. yes I am concerned he will do something like you say, I will strip house and search everywhere when he goes finally, alternatively I go to police beforehand, trouble is then he will have no reason to go .
Maybe will ask police to come and check my house once he goes and explain why. Though drugs are expensive and if he is using doubt he will want to waste any by trying to frame me, god knows though. thought if I literally take every room apart might be the answer.