well you were right

You are not a mug. We trusted in people that we thought loved us in the true sense of the word.

What she did isn''t love at all. She wasn''t happy and she found a way to make herself happy and didn''t think twice about you at all in that equation. That''s not love, that''s not respect, that''s not commitment.

Right now your heart will be telling you different and that''s to be expected. When you find yourself doubting the reality of your situation and looking at life with those rose tinted specs on... think of what she did, the lies, the betrayal, the deceit.

You know the truth and as hard as it is to bear now, it will set you free in the end. I never believed this in the early days of my break up but it has come to fruition. I have come to realise that I am worth more and deserved far more than the treatment I got and so do you. Value yourself, be strong and know that you aren''t alone.

Best wishes
Free

Thanks so much again everyone ,yes i have stumbled along the way .It is amazing the excuses you except when you are faced with the stbx ,he was just a friend , nothing happened , you made me feel alone so thats why it happened.

Even i started to believe her .For a couple of days (as you can see from my silence on wiki )i actually thought it was all going to work out and it was mostly my fault .
Well once again i am crushed she disappeared and now she dosnt know what she wants. What a fool again , right back to the start , when will i learn?

Tony,

This whole process is a learning curve....

Some of the things we learn,we want to forget,but others we need to remember.
Yes remember!! although it will be hard,you have to remember that she is the one who has walked,she has denied you the chance of any explanation,so do not blame yourself in anyway.

In some way I suppose we all contributed to the breakup of our marriages,but the part that is hardest to deal with is the non-communication,how did any of us know how the other felt,maybe if we did lots more marriages could be saved............

Looks like she is following her own agenda,without any thought for you,so you need to protect yourself.
As I said before,try to remain calm,don''t do anything rash,you are your priority not her,so look after you!!!
The days that follow will be hard and long,but we will all support you however we can,unfortunatly the one thing we cannot take away is the pain,but honestly that will come with time,an old saying but so very true but "Time is a great healer".........

Take care
Luv and cwtchs
Afon xx.........................

Hugs to you tony213

Just want to reiterate: you are not a mug; you are not alone as you have the support of wiki.

Take care xx

Tony, heartfelt empathy for your troubles.

If being a mug means we have been gullible and being gullible means we have been trustful, then yes plenty of us around on wiki - I am another.

It''s a bad scene. And my kettle was never off the boil either.

Best wishes, keep posting. Nige.

For me, what you now describe was the very worst time.

You need to remember, when she says she doesn''t know what she wants, she really means that she wants you to hang around so you can be her backup plan, or plan B.

Make her mind up for her, NO CONTACT, CONCENTRATE ON YOU.

Dont go into Limbo for 12 months like I did, please!

I second that - the "I don''t know what I want yet" and the one sided reconciliation attempt was the biggest waste of my life imaginable. I could had her out of my life 6 months earlier!