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Jokes and Humour 430 topics

A place to share any jokes or humourous stuff with your wiki buddies.

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Subject	Replies /	Latest
Ultimate Female Joke... It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes, and there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I off ... 03 Feb 09, by bevs Latest 03 Feb 09 by saffron1968	Replies:6 :570	Latest by saffron1968 03 Feb 09
One for the Wiki addicts MY LIVING WILL Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, ... 29 Jan 09, by rasher Latest 02 Feb 09 by NellNoRegrets	Replies:3 :453	Latest by NellNoRegrets 02 Feb 09
Best Blonde joke ever?? A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.' 28 Jan 09, by Jam30 Latest 29 Jan 09 by Jam30 1 2	Replies:9 :1240	Latest by Jam30 29 Jan 09
One for the girls ... Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my shape to keep. Please no wrinkles, Please no bags And please lift my butt before it sags. Please n ... 28 Jan 09, by slowlygettingbetter Latest 28 Jan 09 by rosiegirl	Replies:3 :494	Latest by rosiegirl 28 Jan 09
Lawyer Jokes A barrister found herself at heaven's gates confronting St. Peter. She protested that it was all a mistake: she was only 42 and far too young to be dead. 11 Jan 09, by Alive_in_the_water Latest 26 Jan 09 by wazo 1 2	Replies:11 :2296	Latest by wazo 26 Jan 09
Funny text jokes Hi, I'm in hospital, i have poisoned myself eating what i thought was an onion. Turned out it was a daffodil bulb. Doctors say i will be out in the spring. ... 05 Dec 08, by cindygirl Latest 19 Jan 09 by fade2gray	Replies:4 :660	Latest by fade2gray 19 Jan 09
the opposite of love isn't hate it is indifference Hope we all get to be indifferent soon!! ... 15 Jan 09, by Mrs Ingledew Latest 15 Jan 09 by NellNoRegrets	Replies:2 :590	Latest by NellNoRegrets 15 Jan 09
Stupid People - Here's Your Sign Stupid People - Here's Your Sign 02 Jan 09, by NRP	Replies:0 :624
How NOT to varnish a fIoor, just had to share... Ok here goes, As some of you will know I've had a hell of a year, but having gone through the mill am out the other side... Yes there is light ... 01 Dec 08, by Ninjas have more fun! Latest 01 Dec 08 by kezzarick	Replies:3 :589	Latest by kezzarick 01 Dec 08
Gyno Those who 'do not 'have a sense of humour need to stop reading now GRACE, Seemed sheepish as she Visited her gynecologist. 'Come now,' co ... 24 Nov 08, by SuWozHere Latest 24 Nov 08 by Elle	Replies:1 :597	Latest by Elle 24 Nov 08
Three Bears - the Truth A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning... < ... 23 Nov 08, by SuWozHere Latest 23 Nov 08 by Elle	Replies:2 :599	Latest by Elle 23 Nov 08
One for the ladies ... The sweet taste of revenge Ok, so I take on a private client and confirm her suspicions and give her the video evidence she needs. Then she gives that video to a friend with an e ... 23 Nov 08, by Provost2000 Latest 23 Nov 08 by redfan	Replies:2 :705	Latest by redfan 23 Nov 08
2008's First Christmas Joke Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each po ... 17 Nov 08, by SuWozHere Latest 21 Nov 08 by SuWozHere	Replies:2 :667	Latest by SuWozHere 21 Nov 08
Best Little Johnnie Joke ever The absolute best Little Johnnie joke Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When moth ... 14 Nov 08, by SuWozHere Latest 14 Nov 08 by rubytuesday	Replies:3 :594	Latest by rubytuesday 14 Nov 08
Tesco - Every little helps The Tesco Doctor - New Initiative - One Stop Shop! One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I ... 12 Nov 08, by SuWozHere Latest 13 Nov 08 by SuWozHere	Replies:3 :1015	Latest by SuWozHere 13 Nov 08
Dr Smith A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts. Dr Smith advised her, 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and sa ... 12 Nov 08, by SuWozHere	Replies:0 :617
Get to Know Someone I was sent this in an email last week from my friend in Nottingham and thought it would be fun to post on here. Obviously it's just for a laugh. Cu ... 12 Nov 08, by SuWozHere	Replies:0 :491
Ode to the Perfect Man The perfect man is gentle, And never cruel or mean. He has a perfect smile, And is always neat and clean. The Perfect Man likes children, 09 Nov 08, by MAGIC WAND Latest 10 Nov 08 by The Raiven 1 2	Replies:7 :1386	Latest by The Raiven 10 Nov 08
Laugh Out Loud Once upon a time there were a horse and a chicken who were both good friends. They lived on a farm yard with lots of other animals and were very happy. One day ... 06 Nov 08, by SuWozHere Latest 06 Nov 08 by SuWozHere	Replies:2 :623	Latest by SuWozHere 06 Nov 08
HAVE A LAUGH If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half ... 25 Jul 08, by dawn1 Latest 04 Nov 08 by cerealkilla999 1 2 3 ... 13	Replies:88 :11.9k	Latest by cerealkilla999 04 Nov 08
I've learned I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I’ve learned that no matter h ... 04 Nov 08, by SuWozHere	Replies:0 :482
45 things a woman can't do 45 things women can't do... 1/ Know anything about a car except its colour 2/ Understand a film plot 3/ Go 24 hours without ... 20 Oct 08, by Maysie01 Latest 03 Nov 08 by theOptimist 1 2	Replies:8 :1392	Latest by theOptimist 03 Nov 08
Dear Dr Phil I need help!!! I have just returned my children after 4 nights and now know think I am in need of help. On my return having been with my nine year old daughter I have actu ... 27 Oct 08, by hawaythelads Latest 27 Oct 08 by Zara2009	Replies:3 :823	Latest by Zara2009 27 Oct 08
How annoying is this? HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT? > > You have to try this please. It takes 2 seconds I could not believe this!!! It is from an orthop ... 25 Oct 08, by Zara2009 Latest 25 Oct 08 by Zara2009	Replies:4 :594	Latest by Zara2009 25 Oct 08
Lawyers aren't so bad! Just received this one from a friend... Lawyers aren't so bad... One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men a ... 24 Oct 08, by Zara2009 Latest 24 Oct 08 by nbm1708	Replies:3 :667	Latest by nbm1708 24 Oct 08
Divorce Jokes!! My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. ~~~~~ Marriage is a three-ring circus: Enga ... 21 Oct 08, by cindygirl Latest 24 Oct 08 by cindygirl 1 2 3 4	Replies:23 :7734	Latest by cindygirl 24 Oct 08
Romance Mathematics something to lighten my mood this morning.......ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man ... 22 Oct 08, by Zara2009 Latest 22 Oct 08 by catfoley	Replies:2 :648	Latest by catfoley 22 Oct 08
It's how you use it godamnit </div> <div class="pull-right"> </div> <div class="started"> 21 Oct 08, by <span class="kwho-blocked">Alive_in_the_water</span> <div class="pull-right hidden-phone"> </div> </div> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added IF to only show reply link if any replies --> <div class="pull-left"> </div> </td> <td class="span2 hidden-phone"> <div class="replies">Replies:<span class="repliesnum">0</span></div> <div class="views">:<span class="viewsnum">546</span></div> </td> <td class="span2 hidden-phone"> <div class="container-fluid"> <div class="row-fluid"> <div class="span12"> <span class="lastpostlink"> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added IF to only show reply link if any replies --> </span> <br> <span class="datepost"> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added IF to only show reply link if any replies --> </div> </div> </div> </td> </tr> <tr class="category"> <td class="hidden-phone span1 center"> <a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/58164-classic"><i class="fa fa-comments fa-2x"></i></a> </td> <td class="span5"> <div class="krow"> <a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/58164-classic" title="The other day my ex said that my new girlfriend was only after my money. Well after her having had her hands on it for the last twenty years I thought somebody else was entitled to have a go...!!!" class=" topictitle">Classic...!!</a> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added preview of post in latest posts list --> <br/> <div class="post-preview"> The other day my ex said that my new girlfriend was only after my money. Well after her having had her hands on it for the last twenty years I thought somebody ... </div> </div> <div class="pull-right"> </div> <div class="started"> 20 Oct 08, by <span class="kwho-blocked">Goldie120</span> <div class="pull-right hidden-phone"> </div> </div> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added IF to only show reply link if any replies --> <div id="klastpostphone" class="visible-phone"> <a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/58164-classic#58168" title="hi goldie, this is a good enough answer.lol take care" rel="canonical">Latest</a> 20 Oct 08 by <span class="kwho-user">marriaa</span> <div class="pull-right"> </div> </div> <div class="pull-left"> </div> </td> <td class="span2 hidden-phone"> <div class="replies">Replies:<span class="repliesnum">1</span></div> <div class="views">:<span class="viewsnum">508</span></div> </td> <td class="span2 hidden-phone"> <div class="container-fluid"> <div class="row-fluid"> <div class="span12"> <span class="lastpostlink"> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added IF to only show reply link if any replies --> <a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/58164-classic#58168" title="hi goldie, this is a good enough answer.lol take care" rel="canonical">Latest</a> by <span class="kwho-user">marriaa</span> </span> <br> <span class="datepost"> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added IF to only show reply link if any replies --> 20 Oct 08</span> </div> </div> </div> </td> </tr> <tr class="category"> <td class="hidden-phone span1 center"> <a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/57649-first-joke-on-forum"><i class="fa fa-comments fa-2x"></i></a> </td> <td class="span5"> <div class="krow"> <a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/57649-first-joke-on-forum" title="Hi all..ok this joke is the first on the forum so laugh!! A penguin walks into a bar and says to the barman 'Have you seen my brother?' So the barman says...'What's he look like?' lol Ha ha....You..." class=" topictitle">First joke on forum</a> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added preview of post in latest posts list --> <br/> <div class="post-preview"> Hi all..ok this joke is the first on the forum so laugh!!<br> <br> A penguin walks into a bar and says to the barman 'Have you seen my brother?'<br> So the barm ... </div> </div> <div class="pull-right"> </div> <div class="started"> 18 Oct 08, by <span class="kwho-user">Blueintears</span> <div class="pull-right hidden-phone"> </div> </div> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added IF to only show reply link if any replies --> <div id="klastpostphone" class="visible-phone"> <a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/57649-first-joke-on-forum?start=7#57756" title="And one of my favorite lawyer jokes... A doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. The doctor took his turn first: "Remember how God removed a rib from..." rel="canonical">Latest</a> 18 Oct 08 by <span class="kwho-blocked">D L</span> <div class="pull-right"> </div> </div> <div class="pull-left"> <div class="pagination pagination-small"> <ul> <li><a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/57649-first-joke-on-forum?start=0" title="Page:1">1</a></li><li><a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/57649-first-joke-on-forum?start=7" title="Page:2">2</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> </td> <td class="span2 hidden-phone"> <div class="replies">Replies:<span class="repliesnum">10</span></div> <div class="views">:<span class="viewsnum">1175</span></div> </td> <td class="span2 hidden-phone"> <div class="container-fluid"> <div class="row-fluid"> <div class="span12"> <span class="lastpostlink"> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added IF to only show reply link if any replies --> <a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour/57649-first-joke-on-forum?start=7#57756" title="And one of my favorite lawyer jokes... A doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. The doctor took his turn first: "Remember how God removed a rib from..." rel="canonical">Latest</a> by <span class="kwho-blocked">D L</span> </span> <br> <span class="datepost"> <!-- IJR Nov 2023 - added IF to only show reply link if any replies --> 18 Oct 08</span> </div> </div> </div> </td> </tr> </tbody> <tfoot> <tr> <td class="center hidden-phone"> <a id="forumbottom"> </a> <a href="#forumtop" rel="nofollow"> <span class="divider"></span> <i class="fa fa-arrow-up hasTooltip" aria-hidden="true"></i> </a> </td> <td colspan="6" class="hidden-phone"> <div class="input-append"> </div> </td> </tr> </tfoot> </table> </form> <div class="pull-left"> <div class="pagination hidden-phone"> <ul> <li><a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour?start=0" title="Page:Start">Start</a></li><li><a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour?start=360" title="Page:Prev">Prev</a></li><li><a href="/forum-index/jokes-and-humour?start=0" title="Page:1">1</a></li><li><a class="disabled">...</a></li><li><a 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</li> </ol> </div></div></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="g-grid"> <div class="g-block size-100 just-below-main-content"> <div class="g-content"> <div class="platform-content"><div class="moduletable "> <div class="custom" > <div id="qx-row-945" class="qx-row"> <div id="qx-column-277" class="qx-column qx-col-lg-12 qx-col-md-12 qx-col-sm-12 qx-col-xs-12"> <div class="qx-col-wrap"> <div class="qx-element-wrap"> <div id="qx-text-310" class="qx-element qx-element-text"> <h3>Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?</h3> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="qx-row-35189" class="qx-row"> <div id="qx-column-74191" class="qx-column qx-col-lg-2 qx-col-md-3 qx-col-sm-6 qx-col-xs-12"> <div class="qx-col-wrap"> <div class="qx-element-wrap"> <div id="qx-image-578" class="qx-element qx-element-image wiki-image-left"><img src="/images/optimised/divorce-consultant.webp" alt="" width="300" height="200" class="qx-img qx-img-responsive ls-is-cached jch-lazyloaded" data-src="images/optimised/divorce-consultant.webp" /></div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="qx-column-16193" class="qx-column qx-col-lg-7 qx-col-md-9 qx-col-sm-6 qx-col-xs-12"> <div class="qx-col-wrap"> <div class="qx-element-wrap"> <div id="qx-text-97153" class="qx-element qx-element-text"> <p>Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you <a href="/services/financial-settlements/help-with-the-financial-settlement-process.html">reach agreement on a fair financial settlement</a> quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="qx-column-29374" class="qx-column qx-col-lg-3 qx-col-md-4 qx-col-sm-2 qx-col-xs-12"> <div class="qx-col-wrap"> <div class="qx-element-wrap"> <div id="qx-button-68379" class="qx-element qx-element-button"><a href="/services/financial-settlements/help-with-the-financial-settlement-process.html" class="qx-btn qx-btn-default"><i class="fa 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wiki-qx-column qx-col-lg-3 qx-col-md-6 qx-col-sm-6 qx-col-xs-12"> <div class="qx-col-wrap"> <div class="qx-element-wrap"> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text home-section-title"> <h3 style="text-align: center;">Negotiate a fair deal from £299</h3> </div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-image wiki-shop-3col-image"><img src="/images/services/300/divorce-consultant.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" class="qx-img qx-img-responsive ls-is-cached" data-src="images/services/300/divorce-consultant.jpg"></div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text wiki-shop-3col-text"> <p style="text-align: justify;">Helping you negotiate a fair financial settlement with your spouse (or their solicitor) without going to court.</p> </div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-button"><a href="/services/financial-settlements/helping-you-to-negotiate-a-fair-financial-settlement-3-hours.html" class="qx-btn order-now-button qx-btn-default"> <i class="fa fa-arrow-circle-right"></i> Negotiate a Fair Deal </a></div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text qx-hidden-lg qx-hidden-md"><hr class="wiki-shop-hr"></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="qx-column wiki-qx-column qx-col-lg-3 qx-col-md-6 qx-col-sm-6 qx-col-xs-12"> <div class="qx-col-wrap"> <div class="qx-element-wrap"> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text home-section-title"> <h3 style="text-align: center;">Financial Mediation from £399</h3> </div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-image wiki-shop-3col-image qx-hidden-xs"><img src="/images/optimised/zoom-video-call.webp" alt="" width="300" height="200" class="qx-img qx-img-responsive ls-is-cached" data-src="images/optimised/zoom-video-call.webp"></div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text wiki-shop-3col-text"> <p>Financial mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.</p> </div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-button"><a href="/services/financial-settlements/financial-mediation.html" class="qx-btn order-now-button qx-btn-default"> <i class="fa fa-arrow-circle-right"></i> Financial Mediation </a></div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text qx-hidden-lg qx-hidden-md"><hr class="wiki-shop-hr"></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="qx-column wiki-qx-column qx-col-lg-3 qx-col-md-6 qx-col-sm-6 qx-col-xs-12"> <div class="qx-col-wrap"> <div class="qx-element-wrap"> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text home-section-title"> <h3 style="text-align: center;">Consent Orders from £950</h3> </div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-image wiki-shop-3col-image qx-hidden-xs"><img src="/images/optimised/consent-order.webp" alt="" width="300" height="200" class="qx-img qx-img-responsive ls-is-cached" data-src="images/optimised/consent-order.webp"></div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text wiki-shop-3col-text"> <p>This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.</p> </div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-button"><a href="/services/financial-settlements/clean-break-consent-order.html" class="qx-btn order-now-button qx-btn-default"> <i class="fa fa-arrow-circle-right"></i> Consent Order </a></div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text qx-hidden-lg qx-hidden-md"><hr class="wiki-shop-hr"></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="qx-column wiki-qx-column qx-col-lg-3 qx-col-md-6 qx-col-sm-6 qx-col-xs-12"> <div class="qx-col-wrap"> <div class="qx-element-wrap"> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text home-section-title"> <h3 style="text-align: center;">Court Support from £299</h3> </div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-image wiki-shop-3col-image qx-hidden-xs"><img src="/images/optimised/royal-courts-of-justice-sign.webp" alt="" width="300" height="200" class="qx-img qx-img-responsive ls-is-cached" data-src="images/optimised/royal-courts-of-justice-sign.webp"></div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text wiki-shop-3col-text"> <p>Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.</p> </div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-button"><a href="/services/financial-settlements/support-through-court-financial-remedy.html" class="qx-btn order-now-button qx-btn-default"> <i class="fa fa-arrow-circle-right"></i> Court Support </a></div> <div class="qx-element qx-element-text qx-hidden-lg qx-hidden-md"><hr class="wiki-shop-hr"></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div style="clear: both;"> </div> <!-- END: Articles Anywhere --></div> </div></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </section> <section id="g-bottom"> <div class="g-container"> <div class="g-grid"> <div class="g-block size-100"> <div class="g-content"> <div class="platform-content"><div class="moduletable "> <div class="custom" > <!-- START: Articles Anywhere --><div class="qx-inner windows_nt_10_0 classic qx-type-section"> <div class="qx-section dark-footer"> <div class="qx-row"> <div class="qx-column qx-col-lg-12 qx-col-md-12 qx-col-sm-12 qx-col-xs-12"> <div 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